Deep Breathing for the Soul

We're moving!

2008-05-09T09:11:00.003-05:00

Change your bookmarks!
Deep Breathing for the Soul has a new home. Click here to get there.
As many of you know, I've had my website completely overhauled. New colors, new technology. And that means my blog will now be a part of the website. Please come visit. I'm giving away free books to two lucky visitors who post a comment before May 17, so hurry over and check it out!

And the winner of a free book is...

2008-05-05T16:52:00.002-05:00

Okay, the winner of our book giveaway is Karin, who posted the following comment:
Hi Keri & Allison,

Love the BBR blog - it makes me think. Keri - love the look of the new web site!
My daughter is 16 (son is 14) but it is the daughter that has me most concerned. I feel like she expects more and more, whatever we are doing isn't good enough. An example is for her 16th birthday earlier this year we told her that we were going to get her an iPhone. Then apple came out with the 16g and she told us not to get the 8g because if we couldn't get the 16g, don't bother. I feel like we are being held hostage and that she is expecting more and more. Really struggling with this right now. Will this book help me?
Karin

Karin, Congratulations, you're our winner! if you will get in touch with me (go to www.keriwyattkent.com and click on the "contact Keri" form) and send me your addresss, I will send you the book.
But I'd also like to respond to your comment.
I'm not surprised you feel like you are being held hostage. But you are choosing to do so. I'd recommend you explain to your daughter that gifts are just that, gifts. It's easy to understand why she thinks this way--our whole culture does, because you can now register not just for weddings but for kids birthdays, graduations etc. But a gift is something the giver chooses, not something the recipient orders. You need to tell your daughter this--a gift is not something you get to order. If she gives you grief, I would take her up on her offer--and don't buy her either. I think it would be a huge mistake to buy her the 16 g. Think about what that would teach her--that if you are bossy and demanding enough, you get your way. Not a good life lesson. buy her something else, and let her save her money to buy her own iPhone. And yes, I think this book will help you--but you will have to think about what you can do to set good boundaries now.
A good rule of thumb is, any time a child demands that you buy them something, don't do it.
REaders, any thoughts for Karin?

And the winner of a free book is...

2008-05-05T16:52:00.000-05:00

Book spotlight

2008-04-27T19:53:00.001-05:00

Okay, it's time for another in our totally random series of author interviews, which means you could win a FREE BOOK!

Today, we welcome author Allison Bottke, whose newest book, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, is really getting a lot of attention these days! Some of you recognize Allison as the founder of the Boomer Babes Rock website and blog, where I am privileged to be a part of her blog team. My kids are not yet adults, but I found this book very helpful--it reminded me that setting boundaries is a life-long process, and I need to be helping my kids to become self-sufficient and responsible at every age.

Allison's story is a compelling one. Read the interview, and if you post a comment or question, you'll be entered in our drawing to win a free copy of the book.

KWK: Welcome to Deep Breathing for the Soul, Allison!

ALLISON: Thanks, it's great to be here.

KWK: This was a powerful book. What made it even more compelling was the fact that it comes out of your own personal experience with your son. Please tell us about that.

ALLISON: For years I really thought I was helping my son. I wanted him to have the things I never had growing up. I love my son, and I didn’t want him to hurt—but sometimes pain is a natural result of the choices we make. For a long time I didn’t understand the part I was playing in the ongoing drama that had become my son’s life—I didn’t understand that I didn’t have to live in constant chaos and crisis because of his choices. When I chose to stop the insanity and start living a life of hope and healing my life changed. It’s a feeling I want other struggling parents and grandparents to experience. I want other parents to know that change is possible when we choose to stop the destructive cycle of enabling. And we can stop it. I know, because I’ve done it.

KWK: How can we determine whether we are helping versus enabling our children?

ALLISON: Helping is doing something for someone that he is not capable of doing himself.

Enabling is doing for someone things that he could and should be doing himself.

An enabler is a person who recognizes that a negative circumstance is occurring on a regular basis and yet continues to enable the person with the problem to persist with his detrimental behaviors. Simply, enabling creates an atmosphere in which our adult children can comfortably continue their unacceptable behavior.

KWK: What are some of the most common ways that parents enable their children?

ALLISON: Being the Bank of Mom and Dad, or the Bank of Grandma and Grandpa. Loaning money that is never repaid, buying things they can’t afford and don’t really need. Continually coming to their rescue so they don’t feel the pain—the consequences—of their actions and choices. Accepting excuses that we know are excuses—and in some instances are downright lies. Blaming ourselves for their problems. We have given too much and expected too little.

KWK: So, what can parents do to break the cycle of enabling?

ALLISON: Follow the six steps to S.A.N.I.T.Y.: Stop blaming yourself and stop the flow of money. Stop continually rescuing your adult children from one mess after another. Assemble a support group of other parents in the same situation. Nip excuses in the bud. Implement rules and boundaries. Trust your instincts. Yield everything to God, because you’re not in control. These six things can start a parent on the road to S.A.N.I.T.Y. in an insane situation that is spinning out of control. However, a key issue in breaking the cycle of enabling is to understand whose problem it really is.

KWK: You've not only walked this road, you're still walking it, and you have a passion to help others along the pathway. Am I correct? And what one thing would you like to say today to those along the path?

ALLISON: I do have a heart for parents and grandparents who are in pain—who are struggling with out-of-control adult children. I know in the depths of my heart and soul what this devastation feels like. The main thing I ask parents and grandparents to cling to is this: Do not underestimate the power of God to restore your heart, your adult child and your relationship.

KWK: You say that enabling our children is “a nationwide epidemic with catastrophic consequences.” What has led you to believe this?

ALLISON: There is clearly an epidemic of major proportion plaguing our nation today. This has become obvious to me as I travel the country sharing my God Allows U-Turns testimony and outreach. Seldom does a week go by when I am not approached by someone in deep pain concerning their adult child. It’s not just audience members in conflict with this troubling issue, but fellow authors, speakers and entertainers, some quite well known, who are living in the throes of familial discord concerning out-of-control adult children. It’s happening all over the country to people from all walks of life.

KWK: Where can my readers go for more information on your book and on the S.A.N.I.T.Y. ministry?

ALLISON: Everything you could possibly need is contained on our web site at: http://www.sanitysupport.com/blogtourguests.htm.

ALLISON: I encourage your readers to tell me what they think about Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children. I really do want to hear reader feedback. They can reach me at: SettingBoundaries@SanitySupport.com. Please be sure to visit our web site at http://www.sanitysupport.com/blogtourguests.htm where they will find additional resources for helping them on their road to S.A.N.I.T.Y. Remember to tell a friend in need and help save a life!

Okay, readers, now it's your turn. What questions or comments do you have for Allison, or about the book? Remember, each time you post a comment, you are entered to win a free copy of this book. If you know a mom of an adult child who is really struggling, this book might be a meaningful Mother's Day gift!

Day 5

2008-04-25T10:54:00.000-05:00

As some of you know (if your read all of the post below) my family and I have engaged in the "five day challenge" along with thousands of others at Willow Creek. Today is day five of eating oatmeal for breakfast, a small serving of rice and beans with a tortilla for lunch, and dinners consisting of rice, beans, a bit of chicken or fish, and a small amount of vegetables. We had occasional snacks of fresh fruit.
We did this to connect, in a very tangible way, with the plight of the poor. Over half the world's population eats this way, probably in smaller portions than I did. and the looming shortages of rice and flour in the headlines today make the situation even more desperate for many more people. We're also taking the money we saved on groceries and donating it to help the hungry.
My entire family joined in this challenge, although I supplemented my kids' meals with milk and a bit larger portions than the recommended one cup. they continued their normal activities, which for my daughter included soccer and track. (she got a few extra tortillas!)
What would it be like to be a mom who could not just give your child an extra tortilla? Who could not offer a break from the monotony of rice and beans with a bit of fruit? My 12-year-old son was hungry last night, I gave him an orange. "I think oranges are the best fruit," he said as he devoured it.
this week has touched us. It has changed the way we pray, the way we view the poor. We will never say the word "hunger" again without remembering this week. We will never be the same again.

Food for the hungry

2008-04-21T09:40:00.001-05:00

As I mentioned last week, from now until Mother’s Day, both at home and church, we are focusing on the issue of world hunger.

Hunger is making headlines these days, as food and fuel prices soar. While it seems like a huge, insurmountable problem, there’s actually a lot we can do. And even small things can make a difference.
As a family, we began by signing up for a two-hour shift with Feed My Starving Children, an amazing organization that provides nutritious food to the poorest of the poor.
Thousands of folks from our church and the surrounding community have signed up to do what my family did on Saturday. Feed My Starving Children sets everything up in stations where volunteers can assemble meals that are going to be shipped, in this case, to Zimbabwe. We filled plastic bags (about quart size) with rice, soy protein, dried veggies and a chicken-flavored powder that contained vitamins and minerals.

After the bags were sealed, we packed them into boxes. That quart-sized bag actually contains enough for six meals. And the FMSC partners (independent faith-based and missions organizations) provide one meal a day. So it’s a very small amount of food. But it can mean the difference between life and death for a child who had been eating only a few times a week.
Click here to see a great video about this amazing organization.

On Sunday, we went to church and heard an excellent, challenging message from one of our pastors, Nancy Beach, on what we can do to fight world hunger. It prompted a lot of interesting discussion.
And starting today, we are joining with others to engage in what our church is calling the Five-Day Solidarity Challenge. This is, in essence, a modified fast. As an act of solidarity, to increase our awareness and compassion, we will eat as the majority of the world does, for five days. This also provides an opportunity to redirect the resources we’d normally spend on groceries to a fund for helping feed the hungry. And to pray for those who are hungry.
We had oatmeal (minus the usual sugar and other toppings) this morning. The kids packed rice and tortillas for lunch. We’ll have rice and beans, or rice with a bit of veggies and chicken, for our dinners.
What’s amazed me is how my 14-year-old is embracing this. She and her friends are challenging and encouraging each other to do it. My kids attend public school. They’ll have an opportunity to talk about this issue with friends when they pull out their tortillas and rice today at lunch.
Admittedly, since I want my kids to stay healthy, I am “cheating” on this by giving my kids multi-vitamins and milk to go with their meals. But I’m also having a lot of conversations with them about why we are doing this.
The five day challenge is really an opportunity for us, as a body of believers, to engage the spiritual discipline of fasting. Fasting is to abstain from something for a spiritual purpose. While we will eat some food, it will be substantially less than we normally eat.
The goal of this challenge is not to “grind it out” or simply endure hunger. It is not to “win” the challenge, as if we were competitors on Survivor. Rather, the goal is to be spiritually transformed. A secondary, and quite practical goal, is to reduce the amount we spend on food, and to redirect those resources to the poor.

The Bible is very clear that fasting is always linked with prayer. Specifically, that prayer is one of repentance, or prayers seeking God’s miraculous help, prayers that are especially heartfelt or intense. And so I am encouraging my family to pray. When they feel hunger pangs, use that as a reminder to pray. When they get bored with rice, remember and pray for kids who may eat very little besides a bit of rice, not just for a week but for a lifetime.
For us, a greater challenge than just eating rice and beans, perhaps, is to be open to letting God speak to us about our own complacency, and to repent of that. So as I pray for my church and myself, I’m hoping that God will move in the hearts of people in our church and our community.
The Bible tells us that if we just fast to impress God or others, but it doesn’t change our heart, God is not interested. He says to his people: “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and provide the poor wanderer with shelter…” (Isaiah 58:6,7).
If you’re participating in this challenge (and you don’t have to be a Willow member to do it), you may want to reflect on Scripture, and listen to God by reading the whole of Isaiah 58 during each of the five days. Let his word speak to you and touch your heart.
My prayer is that this will be a spiritually transforming experience for me, and for my family. I’d love for you to join us, even for one day of the challenge, and post your thoughts.

It keeps you running...

2008-04-14T09:26:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite memories of my junior high and high school years is not of a single event, but of a practice, a regular routine--of jogging with my dad.
We'd get up early, before I went to school and he went to work. We'd trot about three miles or so, rain or shine. Or snow.
So when my 14-year-old announced she wanted to run track this year, it got me thinking about that bonding time with my dad. And how, perhaps, I could do the same with my daughter. So I started getting on the treadmill at the health club this winter. I'm up to more than two miles, at a pretty slow pace, admittedly, but I can keep going for 20 to 30 minutes.
So I asked my daughter if we could try running together. I told her we had to go slow (she recently ran the mile at a meet in about six and a half minutes), so we could increase our endurance. Well, so I could increase my endurance. She plays soccer and now runs track, and is in great shape. Me? Well, I'm trying.

It was windy and about 35 degrees yesterday afternoon, but we ran more than a mile. And we decided we will do this not just to get in shape (since she already is in shape!) but for a purpose.
This month, in church and in our home, we are focusing on, and praying about, world hunger. So it's fitting that Mel and I are training for an upcoming 5K "Run for Hungry Children" sponsored by Bright Hope International.

The run is May 17. If you'd like to sponsor us, or even better, join us, leave a comment about that.

Fighting modern slavery

2008-04-10T20:42:00.000-05:00

I recently had the cool opportunity to interview a woman who has escaped modern day slavery, and write her story for the pages of Today's Christian Woman magazine. Sexual trafficking is a huge problem, not just overseas but here in the states.
My article, which tells the amazing story of Ruth Ada Kamara, a woman trafficked into prostitution against her will, is currently on the Christianity Today website. The very cool part of Ruth's story is that she is now speaking out to educate others, to fight this terrible problem.
click here to read the full story on-line.
I've heard from several readers who were moved by Ruth's story, and want to do something to help. Read the story, tell me what you think. And let's talk about ways that we could all help.

Suburban soul??

2008-04-07T18:56:00.001-05:00

I just finished reading a great book, Death by Suburb by Dave Goetz. An intriguing title, the subtitle grabs me even more: "How to Keep the Suburbs from Killing Your Soul."
This is a great book--Goetz, who lives in Wheaton, where I used to live and went to school, describes suburban life to a tee. He trains a keen eye on both the struggle and irony of the competitive, consumeristic, pressured, hurried life that is not only the typical suburbanite's life, but his own life. (He admits to being a sometimes over-enthusiastic soccer dad, and to owning both the quintessential suburban vehicle, an SUV, and the quintessential suburban dog, a Golden Retriever).
He recommends spiritual practices to counter-act the "environmental toxins" of suburban life; practices that range from the traditional solitude and self-examination to ones that address specific suburban problems. For example, he writes, to counter the toxin of "My church is the problem," a common malady of the suburban consumer mindset, he recommends the practice of "Staying put in your church."
This particular chapter came at an opportune time for me. I am not a church hopper. I've been a part of the same local church for 21 years. the fact that it happens to be one of the largest churches in America doesn't really matter to me--it's home. But this week, I was wrestling with whether it is where I really belong. I had spoken up about some problems I saw in our church, and I probably did not use as much diplomacy in expressing my concerns as I should have. (okay, that's an understatement. I was pretty harsh, and spent the night vacillating between guilt and anger at being misunderstood)
That night, as I wondered if I really should stay at my church of 21 years, I read Goetz's words, which were, at that moment, God's message to my heart:
"At its best, the local church functions as an arena in which conflict and hurts among participants who choose to stay can open up possibilities for spiritual progress. Where else will people still accept me after I stand up in a church meeting and harshly criticize something? 'ah, that's just Dave,' they say. They know me. I learn about the Christian virtutes of acceptance and graciousness even when I am not accepting and gracious."
This author's story was my story. I was the one who had stood up and criticized, rather harshly. And yet, as one of my friends at church told me a few days later, "your circle is not broken."
When we practice perserverance, and stay connected at one church long term, we get to experience grace in a way that we wouldn't otherwise. We get the chance to mess up, and not hide. And thus, experience grace and forgiveness.
I love when my life and books collide, when God speaks to me through someone I don't even know.

He is risen indeed!

2008-03-24T08:39:00.000-06:00

Hope everyone had a glorious Easter. We had a wonderful and meaningful Holy Week.

I'm reading a manuscript for a book on the church calendar, (it's not yet been released). Reading this lovely book by Kimberly Conway Ireton, I learned that Easter is not just a day, but a season in the liturgical year. It begins Easter Sunday and continues for fifty days (until Pentecost). Fifty days to remember and celebrate the resurrection, and the new life that it brings us.

What can you do over the next fifty days to celebrate and remember the Risen Lord?

Sabbath Stories

2008-03-18T14:12:00.004-06:00

I hope that all of you will take the time to read the comments from the post asking for Sabbath stories. So many of you had inspiring stories to share.
Several people sent me their story via e-mail, and I wanted to share a few over the next few days. Here's some of what Christine from Michigan shared with me. If you think you can't do Sabbath with small children, you need to read her story:

Hi Keri - Ever since I read your book Breathe a year ago, we have been trying to practice the Sabbath.
We do not call it Sabbath, rather family day. We spend the day going to church and Sunday School in the morning, and the rest of the day is family activities. I love asking the kids, who are now 5 and 6 years old, "What do you want to do today?" That makes them feel so special.

Some days are restful, with walks in a nearby parks and reading, other days we may go to the movies. It is our day to spend as a family, without doing projects and running around. Some weekends are hard, and we are not perfect, and we may end up having to go to the grocery store. But, we don't give up and look for another day. It is getting easier for me as a mom to do.

At first it was very difficult, as I have the worker mom personality - when I sit down, I think of everything else I should be doing, the laundry, cleaning, packing lunches, email, etc. I just need to remember the fun as a family we are having, the renewal of keeping God in the center of our lives, and the memories we are building.

The busier we get as a family, the more important it is to remember to always keep God in the center of our lives.

In your Breathe book you wrote about not having your children in every activity. This made a major impact on me. We have turned down competitive gymnastics for our kids, as they are so young. By keeping your priorities as a family in line, (family meal time and discussions, daily reading of the Bible) it helps to free up family and spiritual growth time. Now that I have reduced some kid activities, I have begun to look at my life and look to where I can cut back church and school volunteer commitments.

My kids' favorite activity on this day is go to a nearby nature park. We take a long 2 mile walk through fields and over a bridge in the woods, with adventures all the way. Finding fish off the dock, throwing stones, taking pictures, and enjoying all that God has made. It really renews your spirit and gets you ready for the upcoming week. We generally pack snacks, and on the way back we take the path by a huge hill. We all climb to the top, see how far we can see, and have a race to the bottom.

Thank you for your inspiration for you have giving me the tools and ideas to change my life to a more relaxed walk with God and with my family.

Sincerely,
Christine

Study guides

2008-03-12T14:35:00.000-06:00

Thanks to all of you who commented or e-mailed me about your Sabbath practices. I especially appreciated hearing from readers who began to practice Sabbath keeping after reading my 2005 book, Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life.
Many of you have asked about using Breathe for a group study. Groups across the country have enjoyed reading and discussing this book. To help you, I created a free downloadable study guide. The link is on the right side of this page, or you can click here to access it.
for those of you who are reading Oxygen together, I have a leader's guide for that on my website.
Thanks again to everyone who responded to my Sabbath stories question!

Tell me your Sabbath story!

2008-03-03T16:13:00.001-06:00

Do you practice Sabbath? I am working on a book on Sabbath—we are in the editing stage. This book, Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity, will be out later this year. One thing this book needs is the perspective of a few more real people.
So, if you have opinions or experience on Sabbath, I’d love to hear from you, as soon as possible. Just comment below. Here’s what I’d like to know:
When you were growing up, were there certain activities that were prohibited or encouraged on Sundays? Which denomination or tradition were you a part of?
Maybe you grew up in a tradition where Sunday meant going to church twice (morning and evening) and a day of prohibitions in between (no playing, no work, no movies, no shopping). What was required, what was prohibited?
Do you take a Sabbath? What do you do or not do on that day? How is your Sabbath similar or different from the Sundays of your childhood?
Are your weekends busy, or relaxed? Perhaps you rest on either Saturday or Sunday and just have never applied the label “Sabbath” to those days.
Does your church support your desire to have a day of rest? How about your family?

I really would like to hear your stories, and I’m hoping I can include a few in the book. But if you want to share, do it right away. I need to hear from you in the next couple of days, if possible.

And the winner is...

2008-02-23T16:00:00.002-06:00

No, I'm not making predictions on the Oscars. I'm announcing that "stampedwithgrace" is the winner of our free book giveaway. You've won a copy of Trish Berg's wonderful book, Rattled!
So, stamped with grace, please contact me by clicking over to the contact form from my website (just click here) and give me an address where I can send the book.
And again, if you know of a first-time mom, this book would make a great mother's day gift.

Free book part 2

2008-02-20T14:26:00.001-06:00

Okay, friends. The deadline for posting a comment about "Rattled" is midnight Thursday. I'll announce the winners on Friday.
Mother's Day is not far away, if you have friends who are expecting, this makes a great gift for a brand new mom!
Read the interview with Trish below, then post a comment or question, and we'll select a winner (or maybe two!) on Friday.

Get a free book!

2008-02-15T07:29:00.001-06:00

Today you have a chance to win a free book! Read on to find out how.

I am excited to welcome Trish Berg, joining us today to talk about her new mom book, Rattled, Surviving Your Baby’s First Year without Losing Your Cool! Get to know Trish and learn about the book, then leave a comment to be entered into a drawing to receive one of two free copies of Rattled.
I've read this book, and it's very encouraging. It will give new parents practical tools for not only surviving but enjoying the first year of their baby's life. If you're a new mom, or know someone who is, you need this practical, wise book.

Trish is a national speaker for Hearts at Home, author of The Great American Supper Swap (which I reviewed on this blog last year) and Rattled. She has been published in Today’s Christian Woman, MOMSense, CBN.com, P31 WOMAN, and numerous regional and national publications.

Trish earned her MBA before leaving the workforce for motherhood, then earned her Doctorate in Diaper Changing in Ohio where she and her husband, Mike, keep busy raising their four children on their family cattle farm.

Trish, welcome back to Deep Breathing for the Soul. Thanks for taking time to be with us today.

Thanks for having me.

So why is it so easy for moms to get rattled during their baby’s first year?

Motherhood is simply draining and exhausting. Hands down the toughest job I have ever had.

But moms are not alone, and I want moms to know that God walks with them through these exhausting years.

What stresses moms out the most?

I think moms put a lot of pressure on themselves to do it all by themselves, and to do it all the right way. They need to simplify, let go of many details, and ask for help, from their husbands, and from neighbors and friends.

Rattled actually begins by looking at the months of pregnancy. How can moms use this time to prepare to survive baby’s first year?

Nine months is not nearly enough time to fully prepare for motherhood. I am not sure there is enough time to fully prepare.

I remember when our first child, Hannah, was born, I felt that my world had been turned upside down. Hannah did not like to sleep, and so we spent many nights walking the floor, bouncing her up and down, trying desperately to settle her down. My husband, Mike, and I took turns walking laps around the house, like the Indy 500 with a lot more bouncing.

I am not sure I could have prepared for that.

But during your pregnancy, you can prepare in other ways. Like arranging for help. Ask your mom or mother-in-law if they can spend one day with you each week during the first few months. Just knowing someone is coming in the morning to help with the baby can make the being up all night not seem so terrible.

You talk about surviving motherhood. How do you help moms do that?

In Rattled, I talk about a mom’s survival kit. If you were thrown out into the wilderness, you would need FOOD, SHELTER, FIRE and WATER to survive.

Well, moms have been thrown out into the wilderness of motherhood, and to survive, they will need:

Water from the word (2 Samuel 22:3a) –To be in God’s Word.

A fire like desire for prayer (1 Thessalonians 5:17) – Moms can pray their way through their day.

Nourishment body, mind and spirit (1 Corinthians 13:13) – Love on all levels nourishes us.

Shelter from life’s storms (Proverbs 17:17)-Friends to lean on, trust, and support us.

In Rattled, I spend some time talking about how moms can use that survival kit to get back to the joy of mothering.

You spent a lot of time listening to what other mothers had to say. Share with us your best advice for new moms.

I would tell moms to relax. No one does it right all the time. Let the laundry pile up. Leave the dishes in the sink, and just enjoy holding your baby today.

Don’t worry about doing “it” right, just enjoy the moments you have.

That is sound advice...

But what aboud dads? Give us a few tips into what dad is going through during the first year.

Dads are just as insecure as moms are about parenthood. Even more so in many cases.

Moms do much of the baby feeding, diaper changing, and baby care. So dads can sometimes feel left out, and incapable of caring for their own baby.

One thing moms can do is encourage dad to be involved. But in doing so, moms must let go of “their way” of doing things, and let dad discover his own way.

For example. When Hannah was a baby, every time Mike would change her diaper, I would criticize the way he changed it. I tried to teach him how to put his fingers under the leg elastic and make sure it wasn’t bunched up, preventing a future leak.

But every time I criticized him, he stepped back and became less involved. And you know what? Even when I did the diapers the “right way” they still sometimes leaked.

So I had to learn to let Mike change her diaper his own way. I let him put her to bed his way, bathe her his way, and be the dad God wanted him to be.

That can be difficult for moms who can tend to be slight control freaks when it comes to baby care.

But let me just encourage you that the help you will get from dad if you can let go of those details will bless you in more ways than you can imagine!

In Rattled you’re very open about the loss of your own pregnancy in 2002. How has that loss changed your outlook on motherhood?

I in the 2nd trimester of my fourth pregnancy when I went in for a regular check up. I was not having any problems at all, and went in alone.

My OB/GYN performed an ultrasound just to check for twins, and suddenly my world turned upside down when he could not find a heart beat.

I was completely devastated. Mike and I had two weeks of further testing before we had assurance that our baby had died. And through it all, I prayed for a miracle, my miracle, that my baby would be alive again.

But in the end, God’s miracle was not that my baby survived. God’s miracle was the reassurance that He used me as a vessel to bring a tiny soul to Heaven.

A year later, I lost another child to miscarriage.

Today, I have a greater sense of love and appreciation for my four children here on earth whom I hug with my arms, and a closer tie to Heaven where my two babies are waiting for me, whom I can only hug with my heart for now.

Today you’re the mom of 4 happy and healthy children. What do you see as the greatest blessing about being a mom?

I would say learning patience, but my husband would laugh out loud at that…since I am probably one of the most impatient people there is.

So I guess I would have to say enjoying the journey. I live Psalm 118:24 every day of my life.

“This is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.”

Life is messy. Things break. Kids get sick. But moms need to remember to enjoy the journey no matter where the journey leads.

Today at the Berg house, our washing machine is broken. Our mini van needs new tires. We are hanging onto Mike’s 1986 Jeep on a wing and a prayer, hoping it makes it another year or so.

There is mud on my kitchen floor, crumbs on my carpet, and I can honestly say that I love my life. Just as it is.

Now, I certainly have moments where I get stressed and discouraged, and can even lose my temper (just ask my kids), but I am also learning to enjoy each moment of every day as a gift from God.

And thorough it all, my simple hope and prayer is that I can be the mom that God wants me to be.

Where can readers learn more about you, Rattled, your other books, and your ministry to moms?

My website at www.TrishBerg.com offers tons of FREE resources, links and downloads for moms, as well as mor information on my books and ministry.

Moms can also purchase their own copy of Rattled by clicking here.

And I will be speaking at all 3 Hearts at Home Conferences in 2008, I would LOVE for you to join me there. The National conference is in March in Illinois, and in the fall there is a conference in Michigan and Minnesota. You can get more information and register at http://www.hearts-at-home.org/

Thanks, Trish, for joining us today. What a joy to meet you and learn more about your new mom book Rattled.

Thanks for having me. Blessings to you.

Okay, leave a comment and tell us if you'd like to be entered in the drawing for a free book. You can catch up with Trish all week long on her BLAST OUT BLOG TOUR by going to the following sites. There will be FREE book prizes, and great moms to connect with at each blog.

2/15/08
www.keriwyattkent.blogspot.com

http://ramblinroadstoeverywhere.blogspot.com

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/cappuccinosmom

www.mommycomelately.blogspot.com

http://www.cornhuskeracademy.blogspot.com

www.karenehman.com

2/16/08
http://zyphe.blogspot.com/

http://carasmusings.blogspot.com

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/martha

2/17/08
www.marybethwhalen.com

www.bookjunkieconfessions.blogspot.com

2/18/08
http://www.terragarden.blogspot.com

Snowed in!

2008-02-06T17:25:00.000-06:00

Yet another snow day!

It was a good day to stay home, and enjoy the beauty of a foot of snow falling in less than 12 hours. I love being a working mom, but more than that, I love working from home so that I can make it to work by carrying my coffee cup up the stairs!

Here's a few photos to enjoy. My dog in the snow, my kids in the snow, our house buried in snow, well... you get the idea.

Reader mail: advice for writers

2008-02-04T20:51:00.001-06:00

Julie wrote in to ask: "I'm wondering ... how did you start your writing career? Did you always love to write? What would be the first step towards freelance writing and can you recommend any distance learning or writing courses or books that I could start with if I were to pursue writing?"

I started writing in grade school and loved it. Even as a kid I loved reading--and I would say that is a pre-requisite for being a writer--to love to read. Often, the things we love point us toward our calling in life.
I majored in English and worked on the student newspaper in college, got a job as a newspaper reporter right out of college, did that for 10 years or so, and for the last 14 years, have been freelance writing. Having ten years of experience as a professional writer and thousands of clips made it easier to convince my first publisher that I was not a complete rookie.
But writing is not an easy job. A lot of people think you can just do it a little on the side--but being a freelancer means you are running a business. You not only write, you have to market your work, sell yourself and your articles, manage the financial and schedule aspects, etc. You can do it part-time, but the income will reflect that. In fact, even if you do it full time, the income tends to seem more like part-time income.
But if you love writing, it's worth looking into. Question: do you write now? Just for yourself, or whatever? If not, I'd start. A lot of people like the idea of being a writer, but to be one, you need to write--which a lot of people don't have the discipline to do.

Even if the only writing you do is in your journal or blog, do you do it regularly? If you don't write now, you may want to ask yourself, why do I want to be a writer? I'm not trying to discourage you, but it's a competitive field. Do you feel obligated to write, or do you actually enjoy it.
I absolutely love doing it. People sometimes ask me--don't you have to be "inspired" to write? I write every day except Sundays--not just e-mails. It is a discipline, and you do it whether you feel "inspired" or not. The inspiration often comes after you've had your butt in the chair for a while, and not before. I'm not trying to discourage you, but to give you a realistic picture of what it's about.
I'd recommend a book called Making a Literary Life, and also Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird.
If you're interested in freelance writing for magazines, I'd suggest you pick up either The Writers Guide or the Christian Writer's Guide --both are listings of all different magazines, whether they accept freelance written stuff (some publications are entirely staff written), how to get in touch with the editors, etc.
Also, if you haven't had any training in writing, I'd suggest taking a writing or journalism class at a community college, and attending a couple of writer's conferences. There's an excellent Christian writer's conference held in June on the campus of Wheaton College. It's called Write to Publish. (see http://www.writetopublish.com/) You can meet with editors, take classes on all aspects of writing and publishing. Writer's conferences are a great combination of learning and networking, and you need to do both. Mt. Hermon's conference is supposed to be one of the best--it will be held next month in the beautiful Santa Cruz, Calif. area.
There are also a lot of websites out there that have very good information--I've got links to several on my blog.
Hope that helps.
Blessings on your writing, wherever it takes you!

The picture accompanying this post is of a painting by Sally Rosenbaum. Check out her work at www.sallyrosenbaum.com, it's all lovely!

Extraordinary

2008-02-01T15:57:00.000-06:00

There is a part of me that tends to live in the future—to look forward to things that are going to somehow improve.
One of my goals for the new year is to simply live in the moment. To be where I am, and notice the gifts in the present moment. When I remember to do this, it’s funny, but I actually enjoy my life, my work, my friends and family, much more.
My friends Dawn and Greg sent a great card this month with this quote from Frederick Beuchner (one of my favorite writers) on the front:

Listen to your life
See if for the fathomless mystery that it is.
In the boredom and pain of it
no less than in the excitement and gladness:
touch, taste, smell you way to the holy and hidden heart of it
because in the last analysis all moments are key moments,
and life itself is grace.

Inside, they admitted that they were sending a January card since they’d missed sending out Christmas cards. But Greg wrote “I have come to believe that maybe it is the ordinary days that are to be remembered and cherished. The ordinary days that form the foundation of our lives, that forge our character and make up the story that is our life.”

In the traditional Church calendar, certain seasons that fall in between special seasons like Advent or Lent are called simply “ordinary time.”
The bulk of our lives are spent in ordinary time. But if we can begin to see, as Beuchner points out, that “life itself is grace”—then ordinary becomes extraordinary.
When we went to bed last night, it had already snowed about six inches. This morning, the snow was still falling, school was closed. I’ve put in six or seven hours of work today at my desk, but I’m still in my jammies. Gotta love snow days. Really gotta love being able to work from home. And I'm totally grateful I didn't happen to be on a plane today (I flew home from my latest business trip on Tuesday!).
My hubby and kids shoveled our driveway, then helped various neighbors shovel theirs. They went sledding at the hill in the backyard of our school, played with friends.
Here’s some photos of my backyard. (click on each image to see them in better detail) Yeah, that's about a foot of snow on the table. It’s funny, we’ve had several storms this winter, and I keep taking photos. They’re starting to look alike—snow piled on the picnic table and frosting the trees. But even as the snow becomes ordinary, it still looks beautiful. All moments are key moments, every snowfall dresses the world in wonder.

Getting oriented

2008-01-17T09:14:00.000-06:00

Last night, I cooked dinner for my family. (I wrote about it on the Boomer Babes Blog today) But we didn’t get to eat together. As Scot and the kids came in the door, I was walking out, to ride over to the high school with my neighbors Laura and Jon.
It was parent orientation night. Our oldest kids (their son and my daughter) will be starting high school in the fall. They’ve already taken placement tests, registered for school, and now, we had to get oriented.
Which is a good way to put it, because I feel very disoriented. How did I suddenly become old enough to have a child in high school? How did my baby get so tall and wise so fast?
We happen to live in one of the top school districts in the state, and after hearing the presentations last night, I can see why. The focus is on college prep. Students who lag behind (defined as getting one F in any class, or D’s in two classes) are put into guided study halls to make sure they straighten up and fly right. There are courses are offered at general, college-prep or advanced levels, so that every student has a chance to be challenged, but also to succeed. We’ll be getting schedules with placement information in a few months. We had to turn in forms with elective choices for the kids—and guidance counselors offered us advice on getting the history requirement done as a freshman elective. Perusing the thick course catalog, looking at academic department flow charts, I felt like I was in college orientation, rather than high school.
I sat in the auditorium, between two moms I’ve known since our girls were in diapers. I looked around the room, seeing families from my neighborhood, moms from soccer teams Melanie’s played on, parents I recognized from church.
And as much as I’m overwhelmed by the idea of my little girl going to high school, I felt blessed. Not just because we can afford to live in a good school district (believe me, the taxes are not cheap!) but because we live in a neighborhood that is amazingly stable, and amazingly connected. The vast majority of the kids who were in Melanie’s kindergarten class will be going to high school with her in the fall. Five of those kids live within a block of us. And I know their families.
And that was the most orienting thing about orientation night—knowing that the parents who’ve been beside me at soccer games, driven my kids in carpools, suffered through PTA meetings and grade school field trips with me—those friends will also be here as we journey these next four years, as our teenagers grow and become more independent. My prayer is that we’ll all continue to help each other raise our kids—to watch out for them, to love them, to encourage each other as we face frustrations and challenges that are an inevitable part of parenting, especially parenting teenagers. And by caring for the kids, we’ll take care of each other, as we have for the last fourteen years.

Back to work

2008-01-14T18:53:00.000-06:00

I admit it: I love winter. I took both of these photos in my backyard. And they don't do it justice--it really is beautiful.

For those of you who don't get my newsletter (or do get it but would like to comment on it) here's my musings for January from the Connecting with Keri newsletter. (If you like what you read and would like to subscribe, go to http://www.keriwyattkent.com/ and look for my newsletter info.) I'd love to hear your comments or feedback.

Now comes the hard part of winter, when the holidays are over. Here in the Midwest, it’s been cold and snowy for a month or two, but the season is just getting revved up. We’ve had ice storms, snow storms. We’re supposed to get a January thaw this weekend, although I know winter will return with a vengeance. It’s never really over around here until well into April.

I’ve enjoyed the holidays, and spending time with my family. I love just hanging out watching movies, reading Christmas books, visiting the city to look at the lights, or even shopping with my kids. I love the leisurely pace of our lives when they don’t have to get up for school and don’t have to be driven places on a schedule.

Yet there is part of me that longs to reclaim my computer and the quiet space of my home. I am ready for my darling children to go back to school, so I can work without Alvin and the Chipmunks singing “Bad Day” in the background (as it is right now. Again. Sigh.)

While the weather may be hard, this time of year presents a great opportunity to examine our lives, to see where, perhaps, we hope to go next; to align ourselves with God and His purpose.I finished a book manuscript in early December, and a few weeks later, my wonderful agent called with news of yet another book contract.

As a writer, I’m only employed for certain as long as I’ve got another project—this one will take me at least six months. To finish a manuscript and have another project right away is an amazing blessing. I’m grateful. Along with writing, I’ll travel to five states in the next four months for the other half of my job, speaking and teaching at retreats. My work provides meaning, purpose, joy and income. As much as I enjoyed a holiday break, I’m anxious to get back to work.

Perhaps this week, you too are getting back into your normal routine. Back to work, whether that work is caring for young children, adding value to your company, instructing others or engaging in creative endeavors. Whatever “normal routine” is for you, here’s something to consider: how do you go back to normal without falling into the same old rut?

There is no denying that being home with small children is hard work. But I’ve seen many women make it into an all-consuming career. The danger in that is that moms lose themselves, because they forget that parenting young children is a job for a season, not a lifetime. They don’t remember who they are, apart from the role of mom. It also backfires for the kids who can’t help but conclude that they are the center of the universe.

I really think that it’s important for moms to have something other than their children to occupy their thoughts, to give them meaning and purpose. Getting a job, volunteering for a cause that matters to you, taking a class (or maybe even teaching one) can help you hang onto your self during the parenting years.

I have several friends in various stages of the “empty nest” season. Some find themselves floundering—what are they now, if not a hands-on parent? Others are busy “re-inventing” themselves. Which is, I suppose, a healthy step, but one that makes me wonder: what if, somewhere along the way, they had kept a piece of themselves alive by nurturing their own God-given talents? We often find our purpose hidden in our passions. If we’ve spent some time seeking God’s purpose for our lives (beyond the important calling of caring for our family) perhaps we will find that an empty nest would not require complete re-invention, just a minor adjustment.

If you are a parent, do you have something to occupy your energy other than your kids? Something that fills you, invigorates you, challenges you? Something you think God is calling you to do, that fits with your purpose? Whether it is serving at church or on your school PTA, or even just a part-time job to give you a break from the kids and a little spending money to boot?

Whether you are a parent or not, January is a great time to think about how you spend your days, about your purpose and calling. It’s a great time to begin to explore some options. What work is God calling you to do in this season? As you “get back to normal,” take some time to consider whether you want to make some adjustments, set some goals, or perhaps make a fresh start altogether.

2008 Blessings

2007-12-31T17:05:00.000-06:00

Outside, another storm coats each tree branch in splendid white frosting. I sip tea and reflect, on this New Year's Eve, on the blessings of my life. A warm house, enough food, my family, and a job I enjoy. But beyond these basics, I have been blessed by the struggles.

For some of you, 2007 was a difficult year. Others of us found joyful moments tucked amongst the challenges. When we engage in deep soul work, when we invite God to meet us in our weakness and allow him to "search and know" us, we often find that digging through our rough exterior of excuses and rationalizations leaves us feeling tender, exposed.

What will 2008 bring? what are your dreams, hopes? Are you willing to respond to God's invitation to know and be known more deeply? To say yes to relationship with God means saying yes to facing the truth about ourselves--but knowing that even as we face it, we are deeply and unconditionally loved.

God is always working. The photo above is of my garden. Although it seems as if nothing is growing right now, God is at work: nourishing the soil with the snow, replenishing the perennials with rest. Even in seasons of our lives when all seems dead and cold, so much is going on--God continues to work. Our spirits are formed not by our own efforts, but by the work of God's spirit in us. There is a time to plant, and a time to harvest. And a time to rest.

My prayer is that you would rest in the quiet of winter, and seek the intimacy of God's presence.

Blessings

Keri

a more meaningful advent

2007-12-15T11:13:00.000-06:00

Several readers responded to the post below, which went out as my monthly newsletter yesterday. My dear friend Wendy from Richmond VA wrote about some positive steps she and friends are taking to implement a more meaningful Christmas this year. Here's part of what she sent to me:
"It is amazing to me that so many times your writings mirror what I have been pondering or experiencing in my own life. ...
In Donald Miller's book Blue Like Jazz, he refers to the Advent Conspiracy. I read that book several years ago and really loved it. This year our church has joined other churches in being a part of the Advent Conspiracy and our family has committed to keeping a Christ-Centered Christmas, spending 25% less, giving that money to 1 of 3 organizations and to be intentional about the gift of time to family and friends. What a challenge that can be in this world that we live in.

Our son plays basketball for the an organization called Upward Sports. Someone from the host church offers a devotion during half-time. At one game, a man talked about a mission trip which he and his family took to a village in Africa. He told a story about watching a young girl dig in mud to find water. She would put the water in a rusty can and then walk a couple of miles back to her home and repeat the process over and over again. Hearing this story, something inside me stirred. About a month later we were at the soccer fields and I watched over and over again as people threw empty and half full water bottles into the trash cans. It is amazing how much we can take for granted our easy access to so many things - especially clean water. Two days later I was watching Oprah and she did a segment on Heroes. She had a teenage boy named, Ryan, on the show and he shared his journey with raising money to build wells at the ripe old age of 6. He began the Ryan's Wells foundation. This moved me and I went on-line to research more. When I typed in Ryan's Wells a list of organizations came up and one of them was called "Living Water."
Visiting the website really touched me. Living Water offers a 2 week challenge. You can request the kit that they provide for this. For 2 weeks you drink nothing but water. For example, if at a time you would have normally had 2 cups of coffee then you put 25 cents in a cup and drink water instead and then offer a prayer of gratitude for what we have and a prayer for those who are in need. I took the challenge to my small group who immediately jumped on board. Our son, Connor, also participated in the challenge.
Our group raised over $400 by participating in this challenge and it was really fun to do.
Some folks would call for support - I'm really wanting to drink that cup of coffee. One friend decided in addition to drinking water that she would take 45 minutes to start exercising by walking everyday. During that time she committed to pray for those who live without clean, fresh water."

Wendy's story is inspiring--she listened to God's promptings, and joined with others to do something to make a difference! Let's hear from others of you who are changing the way you show God's love at Christmas time.

Later today I'll post something from another reader--meanwhile, add your own comments by clicking the "comment" word below.

Peace!

Keri

Birthday presents for Jesus

2007-12-12T16:32:00.000-06:00

(For those who don't get my newsletter, here's a preview of this month's issue.)

Whose birthday is it anyway?
If Christmas is Jesus’ birthday, do we give him any gifts?
I find myself trying to swim through the thick of the advent season. I don’t really love shopping, or keeping track of what I’ve bought for whom, but I do love being able to give. I love demonstrating love and care to friends and family.
But do my gifts actually communicate my heart? Or do they simply fulfill my obligation?
Seduced by the slick ads in the Sunday paper, I am drawn irresistibly to the mall. I buy things I don’t need, things that are not on my list, and I realize when I get home, would be perfect for … nobody. Not even myself.
So I plan to return them, even before Christmas. Good grief.
As much as I want Christmas to be meaningful, to be about Jesus, resistance to the tide of materialism often feels futile.
I got an e-mail from my friend Karen Mains recently, with a link to the Advent Conspiracy website. It’s organizers suggest that rather than indebt ourselves to retailers, spending money on things nobody needs, that we invest in relationships, and give presents to Jesus, that is, to the poor. For what we give to the poor, we give to Jesus. Whatever you do for the least of these, he told us, you do for me.
I’ve often wanted to do this kind of thing: make donations to charity on behalf of those on my gift list. But I am afraid friends will feel gypped somehow, that they will be disappointed not to get the little trinket or book (I give a lot of books) that I usually buy them.
It feels like I’m imposing my charitable endeavors on friends, and frankly, a bit uncomfortable. But would I be willing to tell people, “don’t buy me anything—instead, donate to a charity?” I think that is the harder option. Especially when people just get you a gift and don’t ask—what do you want? To tell people what to get you feels a bit presumptuous. Or what if they tell you at the end of November—I’ve already bought your Christmas gift. Do I suggest they return it and donate the money.
The Advent Conspiracy has some great suggestions for families and groups—focusing on relationships, rather than shopping. And rather than giving unnecessary things, redirect that money to the poor. The website suggests letting God lead your giving, but it spotlights the African country of Liberia, where there is a desperate need for clean drinking water. Donating money so that deep wells can be constructed in small villages in Liberia will save lives. As in many third world countries, rural villages often use a local watering hole for all water functions. They bathe, wash clothes and draw drinking water, all in the same stagnant pond (in some cases, it's more like a puddle). Not surprisingly, the people in such circumstances, especially children, are often sick as a result. This is not an isolated problem. Millions of people all over the globe do not have access to decent water.
It truly is insane that we who have clean, purified tap water insist on spending millions a year to buy bottled water—which often comes from the same source our tap water does. What if you stopped buying bottled water, and donated that money to organizations that are digging wells in third world countries?
What does Jesus want for Christmas? Clean drinking water for people who have none seems like a good place to start.

Stepping out in faith

2007-11-17T10:11:00.000-06:00

If God called, would you hear him? If he asked you to do something radical, would you do it?
Two years ago, I wrote a book called "Listen: Finding God in the Story of Your Life." Since then, God has challenged me to listen to my life, for the purpose of knowing him better. I'm always inspired when I hear about other people who are listening to God, and following his calling.

I received an e-mail this week from Esther Hall, an acquaintance from Willow Creek. I say acquaintance because I know who she is, we have mutual friends, we've bumped into each other via various ministries at Willow over the last two decades. Although I don't know her very well, I've always admired her.

Esther has been serving God through a ministry called PathFinders International for many years. But now, God is calling her to do something radical. she's getting ready to move to Africa!
You can read more about it on her blog, which is at http://www.hadassahscall.blogspot.com/
She has moved out of her apartment, is getting rid of her stuff, and getting ready to go. She's had to simplify her life (another of my favorite themes), paring her stuff down enough that it will fit in a few suitcases. That in itself is a spiritual exercise--to let go of our stuff so that we are free to follow God.
God may not call you to go to Africa, but I do think he calls each of us to serve him somewhere--in our neighborhood, our church, our workplace. And he calls us to live simply.
I know just walking through Target yesterday, I was so tempted by all the holiday stuff. I don't need any of it. In fact, I think accumulating stuff will only weigh me down, keep me from hearing God. And I think God has been saying, rather than wasting money buying more holiday junk, what if you were to use those resources to support Esther? Or feed people who are hungry and live right in my neighborhood? I hope that you'll join me on the adventure of giving this holiday season. If you'd like to contribute to her support, you learn more about that on her blog, or send it to PathFinders International 60-B W. Terra Cotta Dr #205 Crystal Lake, IL 60014.

California fires

2007-10-25T09:33:00.000-05:00

Thanks so much to all of you who prayed for my parents. It appears that their home in Escondido is safe, miraculously. I blogged about it today over on Boomer Babes Rock, click on over to check it out.

while the pictures of devastation and destruction filled the news even here in Chicago, my mother said one of the most amazing aspects of this tragedy was something that was not tragic at all.

The story behind the story is about the kindness of the people of San Diego. My mother said Qualcom stadium was full of evacuees, but there were almost as many folks there volunteering to help. thousands of people brought food, bottled water, blankets, air mattresses and more to the places where displaced folks were staying. The Red Cross was overwhelmed by trying to manage all the donations.

My parents' home was very close to the fires, they were certain they would lose it. So far, it has been spared, for which we're very grateful.

Even my parents, hearing on the news a request for help with some nursing home residents who had been displaced, decided to go over and volunteer. They were turned away, even tho my mom is a registered nurse, because there were too many volunteers. People brought donations of everything, including numerous boxes of Depends, mom reported to me. :)

While it's scary and sad to see the fires, it is amazing to see how people are pulling together and helping each other.

Kids and Homework

2007-10-23T14:41:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone,
thanks so much for your prayers, my parents house in Escondido is still standing, as far as we know (see post below). Right now they are not allowing anyone in to that area, since several houses in the neighborhood were burned. Keep up the prayers.
also, wanted to let you know about a cool site, Boomer Women Speak, run by Dotsie Bregel, one of the Boomer Babes I blog with. They published an article I wrote recently on an experience I had helping my daughter with her homework.
check it out here.

prayer request

2007-10-22T10:46:00.000-05:00

Hi friends,
Just wanted to ask anyone who visits this site to please pray for the families in the San Diego area (including my parents) whose homes are being threatened by the wildfires. My parents were evacuated from their home in Escondido very early this morning, then evacuated again from the friend's house where they'd gone.
The fires are the lead story on http://www.cnn.com/ this morning.

The photo at right is not their home, but a news photo of a fire in that area. Currently their neighborhood is evacuated because the fire is nearby. Please pray that the fierce winds calm, so that their neigbhorhood will not be damaged.
I'd appreciate prayer for them and for all the residents of that area.
Thanks!

Teaching at Willow Creek

2007-10-19T09:10:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, I've taught a women's spiritual formation class at Willow Creek for seven years. This year, I took a break from teaching, for two reasons. I needed more writing time, and I also wanted to let the women who have been a part of my teaching team step up and do more teaching. I love helping women discover their gifts, I love mentoring. Part of mentoring involves stepping aside to provide opportunities for others. This year, my friend Pam is leading the class and doing a great job. The book they are studying is a classic: Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline.
But this week, I had the opportunity to be the guest speaker. I taught on the discipline of fasting. Definitely an interesting topic--I had a great time learning as I prepared, and really enjoyed teaching.
Tahna, who is part of the team, has set up a website for the class that includes lots of info, including audio of the class.
So if you'd like to hear me teach on the spiritual discipline of fasting (don't worry, it's not as scary as it sounds!) go to the site and take a listen!

Reader mail

2007-10-05T11:12:00.000-05:00

First, I need to apologize for neglecting this blog. I'm working on a book, and my speaking schedule always revs up a bit in the fall.
One such speaking gig was at the MOPS International Convention in Orlando. I taught a workshop there last month. MOPS, you'll recall, sent out a copy of my book Breathe to all of its 110,000 members last May. So all 4400 women at this convention had received a copy--I don't know if they read it. But a number of them had, apparently. Several of them spoke to me during the weekend, and told me, "Your book changed my life."
You know, I have never written a best seller. My income from writing is small. Really. And I am often discouraged by that. But hearing from those readers was, to me, assurance that I am doing what God has called me to do.
This week, just when I really needed some encouragement, I received this e-mail from Darcy, a reader in Connecticut:

“Keri, my husband and I read your book "Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life" early this summer while enjoying "down time" with our five-year-old son and two-year-old daughter. We are changed because of it and have entered the first of our numerous school years with NOTHING on the calendar, except for MOPS 2x month.
We believe we are creating space for God to tap us on the shoulder and tell us where to spend our time and energy. We will add activities slowly and prayerfully, but have been so impressed by your words, that we have changed our lifestyle. Thank you for being so bold!”
It’s gratifying to hear that my book has had an impact, and even more gratifying that readers “get it”—that the purpose of clearing your schedule is not just so you can do nothing, but so that you're available to hear God's call and have the time and energy to respond to it. To make concrete changes that say no to a hectic life, so that you can say yes to God, who is ultimately the only one who really changes our lives.

Living as a Missional suburbanite

2007-09-11T20:56:00.000-05:00

My newsletter was sent out today. for those that don't subscribe, here's the article. You can click on the link at right to subscribe.

Why I am a Missional Suburbanite

God has been messing with me lately. That’s the only way to describe it. The “God of all comfort” (2 Corinthians 1:3) has been making me uncomfortable, and while I trust that this is for my own good in the long run (and the good of the world around me) it still creates an uneasiness in my soul.
There’s a saying that God comforts the disturbed and disturbs the comfortable. And it is the comfort of my life that God has been challenging me about.
Six months ago, I took a class on urban development and leadership, trying to learn about the problems of the inner city and familiarizing myself with the work of various urban ministries. It was a part of a justice journey that perhaps some of you have seen evidence of in my writing lately.
In recent weeks, God’s invited me to take a few more steps on that journey, and on that journey, I keep coming to forks in the path where I feel I must make choices. As usual for me, God is speaking through books: His Book, of course, but also a few others.
In the past two weeks, I read Will and Lisa Samson’s new book, Justice in the Burbs, and also Shane Claiborne’s book The Irresistible Revolution. Both confirmed what I’ve been learning for the past year or two, that faith in Jesus and caring for the poor are inextricably bound. And now, I can’t claim ignorance anymore.
You can see my reviews of both books below, but I wanted to tell you a bit about how these two works have come at just the right time in my journey.
I grew up in a church that valued the Bible, and that church instilled that value in me, by various means (raise your hand if you did “Bible drills”). The most prevalent was memorization, a gift I’m grateful for. One verse I memorized was Isaiah 1:18, “Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool.”
Christian singer Ken Medema had a song based on that verse, which I heard not only when he came to do a concert at our church but at home when we listened to his albums. And I was so glad that Jesus took my sins away, that I was saved, that God’s love went beyond reason, to amazing grace. To me, that was what the words meant—forgiveness of sin, halleluiah. I’m not being flippant, that really is a thing to rejoice in. And that is what the verse is about. But it’s not all that verse is about. My reading is missing some of the context.
I’ve been reading Isaiah again lately, because I’ve noticed so many of the verses I didn’t read in my childhood are in that book.
For example, the verse directly preceding God’s invitation to “reason.” Reason about what? “Let’s reason together” sounds like an invitation to a thoughtful discussion. But about what? My need for forgiveness? My need for personal salvation? God’s willingness to forgive me, which goes beyond normal reasoning? That’s what I’d always assumed, in fact, been taught. Because it is about that, but it’s also about so much more. The previous verse, Isaiah 1:17 says, “Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.”
So “do right” doesn’t just mean not drinking, dancing, smoking or running around with boys who do? (the behavior my tradition labeled as the worst sins) Doing right also includes seeking justice, fighting oppression, helping orphans and widows? Huh. I mean, who knew?
It is still true that God’s grace washes us all clean, makes us white as snow. And that we ought to spurn sinful activities. His forgiveness of course, makes us grateful. That is so obvious that the text doesn’t even mention that. But the next verse says God expects our response to be obedience. How? By doing what it says in verse 17—to do what is right: seek justice, encourage the oppressed (my Bible’s footnote on this phrase says another translation of the phrase might be “rebuke the oppressor”). It seems that God is asking us to fight for justice so that those who are oppressed or orphaned can experience grace. No offense to my church, but how come I didn’t hear this part of the story? I thought that I was supposed to tell other people about Jesus. But this text, which is clearly about amazing grace, doesn’t say anything about telling, except with our actions of justice.
If the Bible says we should seek justice and rebuke the oppressor, then the actions that Shane Claiborne describes in his book—protesting mistreatment of tomato pickers, feeding the homeless and fighting for laws that protect the poor—don’t seem so radical anymore. His term for himself, an ordinary radical, makes more sense.
So, how is God messing with me? He’s poking around in my privileged little life, challenging me to seek justice and help widows and orphans, right here in my neighborhood. As Will and Lisa Samson write compellingly about what they call “theology of place,” which basically means that “God has placed us where we are for a reason. …Wherever you are, that is where the kingdom of God is at work. There is no neutral place. That is good news. So doing missions means doing the work of the kingdom wherever you are sent. And the best place to think about where you have been sent is to see where you are…. If you find yourself in the suburbs, welcome to your mission field.”
Since I do happen to find myself in the suburbs, where the regional pastime is shopping, I’m really wrestling with what it means to be missional. To be counter-cultural. To be a light in a place that presents a well-manicured façade is in some ways difficult. To fight my own tendencies to run after comfort and possessions, instead of seeking God. After all, they say that a light shines brightest in the darkness. In my comfortable suburb, just convincing people they are in the dark is half the battle.
One step on my journey was to decide to let God do the convincing, but do my best to act in a way that will give evidence of my faith. That doesn’t mean speaking in Christian jargon, it means admitting your struggles but pointing to God. It means, I think, loving people even when they are difficult.
In order to love someone, you need to get to know them. Do you know your neighbors, no matter where you live? Does your circle of friends include any people who have a different set of beliefs than you do?
Join the PTA at your child’s school, be one of the parents who volunteers to help with your kid’s soccer team—but do it with a missional mindset. Get to know people—seek out those who are different than you. Is there an elderly person in your neighborhood who could use some help with maintaining her home or yard? Offer to help. If there is a single mom in your neighborhood, get to know her. It’s quite possible that she will have a messy life, she will be needy. Get to know her anyway. Help her out in practical ways. That’s what love is.
You don’t have to move to the inner city to work for social justice. The way we live, the choices we make about lifestyle, consumption, etc. are all a part of justice. But the best place to begin is where you are, and the best time to do it is now.

Sabbath devotional

2007-09-03T13:40:00.000-05:00

My friend and colleague Rachel Olsen, with Proverbs 31 Ministries, posted an encouraging devotional on http://www.crosswalk.com/ today. She wrote about Sabbath, which as you know is one of my favorite topics, and she quoted from my book Breathe. Check out what she wrote.

Revolutionary living

2007-09-03T09:39:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading Shane Claiborne's book The Irresistible Revolution. Wow. I highly recommend it, although I have to warn you that the book will challenge you. It might make you mad, if you are a little conservative. But I'd love to hear what you think.

Claiborne is a controversial figure in Christian circles, mostly because he has decided to follow Jesus to the inner city, where he and a group of friends live among the poor, in fact are poor themselves, and to actually fight for justice. (http://www.thesimpleway.org/)
This book is partly a memoir, with stories of how Claiborne went to Calcutta to spend time working with Mother Teresa, and his trip to Iraq as a “peacemaker.” Claiborne has been arrested numerous times for protesting various forms of injustice, including local laws targeting the homeless that made it illegal to feed people, or to sleep outside.
But the book is more than a memoir, it is a challenge to the church and to every Christian to live their faith in a radical way. To live as if Jesus words about when we clothe the naked and feed the hungry, we’re doing it to him, were literally true.
What I'm trying to figure out is how to live out my faith when I live in a comfortable suburb. God's using Shane's book, as well as my reading of Justice in the Burbs by Will and Lisa Samson, to challenge me. My neighbors need God's love--so how do I really show that to them? I'm insulated from the poor, so Claiborne's words really made me think:
“We can admire and worship Jesus without doing what he did. We can applaud what he preached and stood for without caring about the same things. We can adore his cross without taking up ours. I had come to see that the great tragedy in the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor but that rich Christians do not know the poor.”

My monthly visits to a women's shelter have enabled me to get to know the poor a little, but I would say that it's only a start. I don't really know them.

This book will rock you, because Claiborne claims that while he’s a radical, he’s an ordinary radical, and following Jesus is a radical calling.
The point of the book is to call Christians to actually live out their faith. figuring out what that means for you will require prayer, but then action. He writes:
“If you ask most people what Christians believe, they can tell you, ‘Christians believe that Jesus is God’s son and that Jesus rose from the dead.’ But if you ask the average person how Christians live, they are struck silent. We have not shown the world another way of doing life. Christians pretty much live like everybody else; they just sprinkle a little Jesus in along the way. And doctrine is not very attractive, even if it’s true. Few people are interested in a religion that has nothing to say to the world and offers them only life after death, when what people are really wondering is whether there is life before death.”
I challenge each of you to read this book and take just one small step toward living your faith. And to offer suggestions to all of us about how to live justly no matter where we live.

Writing for magazines

2007-08-25T10:12:00.000-05:00

As a freelance writer, I write for several publications, including Discipleship Journal and Today’s Christian Woman. Knowing this, reader Dianne had this question: ”How do you do research for ‘practical Christian living’ type articles? If you are not an ‘expert’ how do you put that ‘expert voice’ into your articles?”

This is a great question. A lot of people want to write. But in order to write, you need to have something to say. So often, the idea of being a writer is so appealing, until you have to actually gather your thoughts into something coherent, and then sit down and actually write, which is so much dang work.
Perhaps you do write, and you have lots of ideas. If you want to write for magazines, the first step is to read the magazines you’re like to write for. Study several back issues to determine the magazine’s style, format, topics. Figure out which magazines line up with the topics you want to write about. A magazine such as, oh, say, Practical Horseman, is not going to buy an article on resolving conflict in your marriage, no matter how well researched and written. An article that is perfect for People Magazine would likely be rejected by the Journal of the American Medical Association, no matter how intriguing or well-written. Research the magazines you are targeting.
An invaluable resource, if you are trying to write for the Christian market, is The Christian Writers Market Guide by Sally Stuart. Published annually, this book lists magazines, publishers, etc., and gives details ranging from whether they work with freelancers, how much they typically pay, what type of articles they are looking for, editors names, etc. There are tips on writing queries and articles. this year's edition also includes a CD-ROM which makes it easy to search.
Each magazine also will have its editorial guidelines, and an editorial calendar. (Often posted on their website or available by request). The guidelines give you rules for format and style and content. The calendar tells the topics or themes for each issue.
Magazine articles are not about you—they are about the reader. Your musings on a topic are not interesting, frankly, to anyone besides you (and perhaps readers of your blog, which is where that type of thing belongs—or in your own private journal—but that’s another topic). However, some articles begins with a story about you, and how you solved a problem in your own life. But they must move on to offer help to the reader to improve their life or solve a problem.

There are links on this blog to several other great sites that have more tips on writing. Or feel free to post a comment or questions by clicking on the word "comments" below.

Experience Africa

2007-08-15T14:05:00.000-05:00

Just got back from a visit to Africa.

Well, actually, Naperville, IL, an affluent suburb about as different from Africa as you can imagine. But World Vision's traveling exhibit about Africa and AIDS was at a church there. What an amazing experience.

You can read more about it at www.boomerbabesrock.com/blog so click over and check it out.

then, visit World Vision's website and find out when this amazing interactive exhibit will be in your town. Make plans to go--you will not regret it.

book review

2007-08-13T15:09:00.001-05:00

My book Listen was reviewed on a great blog, Unfinished Work, today. Click over and read the review, then leave a comment.

Postmodern parenting

2007-08-13T13:19:00.000-05:00

Perhaps one of the most misunderstood words of our day is "postmodern." There are plenty of explanations of this term, and you can google it to your heart's content and find all kinds of different ideas.

But at the surface, break it down. "Post" as a prefix means "after."

The "modern" era was the machine age, an age of rationalism, when people basically believed that our knowlege and powers of rational thought would take us to, as that icon of modernity, Buzz Lightyear, proclaimed, "to infinity and beyond."

So postmodern means "after the modern era." Well, and a whole lot more.

Many conservative people tend to wring their hands a lot about postmodernism, as if it were a religion people sign up for, or a force of evil, like terrorism or oh, say, legalism.

Anyway, the fact is, because we live in the 21st Century, we live in the postmodern era. It is simply an observation about where we find ourselves on the timeline of human history. We live after the modern era, so it is now the post-modern era. Now, the term also encompasses the prevailing thinking of our day. And we can agree or disagree with some of the tenets of post-modernism, or not.

All to say, we have to live in this culture, where people around us often unwittingly ascribe to postmodern ideas. It is still very fluid and changing, which is indeed part of post-modernism--our desire to define things before they have even fully happened.

If we don't want our kids to simply absorb post-modern values by osmosis, we need to understand what those ideas are, and even to discuss them. To be informed and intentional as parents and as people.

As a parent, I want to be relevant and authentic. Writer Mary Demuth has provided a guide to help me achieve both with her new book Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture. I'm honored to be a part of her blog tour this week.

INTERVIEW WITH MARY
Welcome to Deep Breathing for the Soul, Mary. Let's start with an important question: How would you define the term "postmodern"?

Postmodernism is the waiting room between what used to be a modern worldview and what will be. According to several postmodern scholars, we’re in a shift right now, leaving modern ideas behind, but what we are shifting to is not yet fully defined. Postmoderns believe that rationalism and/or more education doesn’t necessarily create a better society. They typically don’t embrace the notion of absolute truth, though they reach for the transcendent. They are skeptical, and often question whether science is something to be embraced or feared.

Okay, how does this intersect with my parenting?

The question for parents is how will we mine the current worldview, even as it shifts? What in it can we embrace as biblical? What is not biblical? What I’ve seen in the church is a fearful adherence to what is familiar. So we cling to modern ideas, even though they may not be biblical and shun postmodern ideas even when they might be biblical. Our children will meet this shifting worldview no matter what our opinion of it is.

So as a mom, what can I do to help my kids?

Become a conversational parent. Talk to your kids. Listen. Share your story.Dare to believe that God has much to teach you through your kids. Be humble enough to learn from them.Create a haven for your kids, an oasis in your home that protects, supports, and gives kids space to be themselves. Take seriously the mandate that you are responsible for the soul-nurturing of your children.Teach your children to joyfully engage their world, while holding tightly to Jesus’ hand. Teaching this comes primarily from modeling it in your own life. Do you engage your neighbors? Are you more interested in God’s kingdom than your own? Admit your failures openly with your children, showing how much you need Jesus to live your daily life. You are the first to admit that being authentic might require a parent to apologize after an angry outburst.

So, authentic parents are real--they don’t always have it all together? We're allowed to make mistakes?

Yep! We are all frail, needy humans. If we present ourselves as perfect parents, never failing, always doing this correctly, we show our children we have no need of Jesus. We also set up a standard of perfection—that to be a Christian, one has to be perfect. This can lead to our children creating elaborate facades or hiding behind masks. I’d rather have my children see that even mommies make mistakes, and we all need Jesus every single day.You talk about the twin values of engagement and purity.

Well, that makes me feel good because my kids are highly aware that their mom is anything but perfect! But tell me more about these ideas of engagement and purity.

Many parents subconsciously believe that true parenting means protection at any cost. when we lived in France, we received a lot of flak for putting our children in French schools because the atmosphere there wasn’t exactly nurturing. Believe me, the decision was excruciating. But through it all, I realized that Jesus calls us all to be engaged in the culture we live in, yet not to be stained by it. That’s the beauty of engagement and purity. Abraham understood this. After God told him to leave everything and venture to a new place, he obeyed: “From there he went on toward the hills east of Bethel and pitched his tent, with Bethel on the west and Ai on the east. There he built an altar to the LORD and called on the name of the LORD” (Genesis 12:8). Oswald Chambers elaborates: “Bethel is the symbol of communion with God; Ai is the symbol of the world. Abraham pitched his tent between the two.” As parents journeying alongside our children through a postmodern world, this concept of pitching our tent between communion with God and engagement in the world should encourage us.

The book we've been discussing, Authentic Parenting in a Post-Modern Culture, by Mary DeMuth is available now. You can purchase your autographed copy directly from Mary at the link above. I highly recommend that you order it today!

speaking podcast

2007-08-13T11:55:00.000-05:00

Back in May, on Mother's Day weekend, I had the privilege of traveling to Utica, NY, where I was the guest speaker at all three weekend services of Mount Zion Ministries chuch.
What a great community of people who love God.
My talk was about what moms need. I won't give it away, but validation and a sense of purpose were among the things I talked about.
Mount Zion podcasts most of their sermons, so mine is on their site. here's the link.
http://www.podshow.com/shows/index.php?mode=ext_detail&episode_hash=5a064391d865a30dfd80b8853718784a

If you're considering me as a speaker and want to hear a sample, listen in for a bit.

Reader questions

2007-08-08T14:04:00.000-05:00

Thanks to MOPS International mailing out 110,000 copies of my book Breathe in May, lots of folks are reading it over the summer. And many of them have written to me with questions, observations, critiques. I really do appreciate hearing from everyone.

Here's one question that a reader posed, and since it's one that others have asked about as well, I thought I'd answer it here.

She asks: "I have a question about chapter 8... I am confused by the story of the Jewish girl named Naomi. I understand the beauty and focus of Shabbat however, I don't understand the piece about her getting a divorce. Why was this included in the book? The Jewish faith is rich in tradition but lacks the focus of Christ and divorce is the last resort in the Christian faith. I felt like I was missing something. I had to reread 3 times to see that I had not. I was left with confusion on why a Christian author and Christian organization (MOPS) would include something like this. We are doing a bible study on this book and are not sure how to explain this."

If you haven't yet read Breathe, it's about simplicity, slowing and Sabbath. It includes the true stories of real women. the chapter that includes Naomi's story is about Sabbath. Since Sabbath is a practice of both Jews and Christians (and frankly, a much richer tradition in the Jewish faith), and because Naomi has a compelling story, she agreed to be interviewed.

As a journalist, I don't get to decide the facts of people's lives. So Naomi's story is her story, not mine. I'm just conveying it, asking questions about the parts that interest me. I wanted to give a glimpse of her spiritual journey, which is in large part a Sabbath journey.

Other readers have asked why I'd include the story of a Jewish person in a Christian book. Well, the Bible is a Christian book and the overwhelming majority of its stories are about Jewish people. I'm not trying to be flippant, but it sometimes seems like we forget that the roots of the Christian faith are in Judiasm. And that Jesus was in fact Jewish. I'm not suggesting we convert to Judiasm, but only to be aware of and appreciate our faith heritage. To not be afraid of it.

I wrote back to this reader to remind her of that, and also, to try to address her question about divorce. Christians divorce at about the same rate as the general population. Perhaps we feel more guilt about it, but it does happen. And the reasons are never simple. But I included that fact in the book because it affected Naomi's life, especially her practice of Sabbath, which was the focus of the chapter. And God used that painful situation to draw her toward himself, and toward loving others. That's a step of growth in her journey.

Also, here's the thing about how I write--because I know myself to be stunningly imperfect, I prefer to tell stories of people who are real, people who don't have every little aspect of their life neatly boxed and shelved. Group leaders who've written to ask about Naomi and why she's in the book only made me question the other stories--were those people too perfect? While we need role models, we also need to know that no one, even role models, is perfect. Ife we think we can't learn from people who are in a different place spiritually, then the fact is we simply can't learn from people at all.

If you lead a group, don't worry so much about "how to explain" everything. Spiritual growth is less about figuring out the answers as figuring out which questions are even worth asking.

Think about Jesus. Did he typically "explain" things? Or did he answer people's questions with more questions?

I love Naomi, she's a friend and a treasure. She's on a spiritual journey just like the rest of us. She's asking questions, and I hope those questions resonate with readers.

Supper Swapping

2007-08-07T07:35:00.000-05:00

Trish Berg, whose book The Great American Supper Swap I reviewed previously on this blog, will be talking about her book on TV today.
Catch her on The Harvest Show on Direct TV Channel 321 THIS TUESDAY August 7th at 9:00 am (replays 2 other times as well).

If you don’t have DirectTV, you can also watch online at www.harvest-tv.com if you wish.
Tune in if you can. Then visit Trish's website for some great tips on simplifying motherhood!

Urban adventures

2007-08-02T20:53:00.001-05:00

I'm blogging on the Boomer Babes blog today about my urban adventures with our family this summer--rather than take a vacation, we visited Chicago numerous times.

Most recently, we were there for Venetian night, a free parade of decorated boats through Burnham Harbor, which draws about a half million spectators to Chicago's gorgeous lakefront. As we sat on the lakefront near the Shedd Aquarium that night, the moon rose, reddish in the evening sky. You can see the moon and the Shedd in the background of this photo of Scot and I. It was a night of family, friends and fun that we'll remember a long time.

Click on over to my post to see photos and read about other adventures we've enjoyed this summer--without having to travel more than an hour from our home.

Seeing Jesus

2007-07-25T10:32:00.000-05:00

You have got to read my friend Connie's post on the Boomer Babes blog today.
Here's how it starts:

Today I saw Jesus…
While coming out of the Giant Supermarket ...
click here to read the rest of this moving story.

Authentic Parenting

2007-07-24T14:58:00.000-05:00

Our culture is shifting so rapidly. Our values may not match up with those of the world around us. How do we parent our children in this ever-changing, postmodern culture?

Mary Demuth's newest book, Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture, addresses that very question. Writer Trish Berg is featuring an interview with Mary today on her Simplifying Motherhood Blog.

Another bonus: if you leave a comment on Trish's blog you have a chance of winning a copy of the book! Plus, check out the archives on her site--she really does have a ton of great ideas to help busy moms simplify their lives.

Just keep swimming

2007-07-19T13:23:00.001-05:00

Perserverance is an oft-overlooked spiritual practice.

I write about the example of my hero, Dory the Fish, on the Boomer Babes blog today. Click here to check out what I wrote.

Encouraging Words

2007-07-17T07:52:00.000-05:00

My monthly e-news went out today. For those that don't yet subscribe, here's what I wrote. You can subscribe by clicking the link I just added at the right.

In the front of the file drawer to the right of my desk, two red file folders sit, bold yet understated.
They hold precious cargo, as evidenced by the label hand written on each: Encouragement. In those folders (one was getting too full so I added a second) I have things like speaking evaluations from retreats that went well, letters from friends, and notes from readers I don’t even know.
In my life, I have sometimes had a tendency to hold onto the discouraging words, the criticism. Or, I make stupid mistakes and then make things worse by beating myself up for doing so. I let the compliments, sincere as they may be, slide like water over my skin. Refuse to drink them in, to taste and see the goodness of a kind word. Or think, if people knew what I was really like, they wouldn’t say nice stuff like that.
God has called me to write—and sometimes that’s a difficult calling. I wonder why I’m doing it, whether my words are just out there, rotting on bookstore shelves (or worse, publishers’ warehouse shelves). The income is sporadic and not great even when it’s there.
I’m called to write about the spiritual life, but I also happen to be someone who is stunningly imperfect—I am a sinner, saved by grace, and lately, I’ve been very aware of my need for grace. Like the apostle Paul, I keep doing things I don’t want to do, and forgetting to do the things that would be wise and kind.So those two folders are not just there to stroke my ego. They are to remind me of my purpose. They are to remind me of God’s love, which is in spite of my mistakes, not because of my accomplishments.
The folders hold, like a reservoir, enough to prime the pump of creative purpose.
When I sit here and try to write, and the words won’t come, and I think—that’s it, I’ve got no more books in me, nothing else relevant to say. When I think, what’s the point, no one cares about this stuff, it’s not helping anyone anyway—I dip into them. And let their contents remind me that God has a purpose for my life, and he’s blessed me with encouraging friends.
Lately I’ve been getting a lot more reader mail than usual, thanks to the fact that MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) sent out 110,000 copies of my book Breathe to their members.
Letters from moms who say things like “this book was divinely sent” and even “You saved my life.”
I’ve always thought of my books as letters of encouragement to people who just want to connect their faith with their actual day to day life. And so I am just so surprised and amazed and grateful for the encouragement that comes back to me.
And in a huge step of believing in myself, I’ve printed out those e-mails and put them in the red folder. Because I’ve had more than a few critics, and people arguing with me about what I write as well.
I don’t print out their e-mails.
I do consider their critiques, but I don’t dwell on them. And if I make a mistake (which I do on a fairly regular basis, unfortunately) I apologize to anyone I’ve wronged.
Do you have an “encouragement” folder? You may not get letters from strangers, but I hope you get drawings from your children, notes from friends, birthday cards, whatever.
Even if you don’t have written words to save in a folder, think about the words you save in your memory. Do you hang on to and replay harsh words of criticism? Do you have a folder in your heart for the words that say “You’re not good enough”? Or do you throw those away and hang onto words like “I’m so glad we’re friends” or “I love you.”
The good news is, God has written you letters of love and strength. So many words in Scripture can be filed in our “encouragement” folder. Here are just a few. Write them on note cards, and put them in a box or folder. When you’re feeling discouraged, pull them out and read them, knowing that they come straight from the heart of a God who loves you outrageously and unconditionally.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving-kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3).
“How great is the love that the Father has lavished upon us, that we should be called children of God. And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1)
“I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from the Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last” (John 15:15,16).
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned” (Isaiah 43:1,2).

Old friends

2007-07-12T13:38:00.000-05:00

I'm blogging today at the Boomer Babes site, so click on over and see more about my trip to Atlanta, where I not only went to the International Christian Retailers Show, but also visited with my lifelong friend Jeanine.

It was great to see her and rekindle the bond we've had since we were babies!

Christian Retail

2007-07-10T18:11:00.000-05:00

I've just returned from a few days in Atlanta, where I visited an old friend, and also attended the International Christian Retailers Show, (ICRS). This annual trade show run by the christian Booksellers Association is getting to be an old friend, too: this was my seventh year attending the show. It's a gathering of publishers, authors, retailers and distributors of not only books but an excessive amount of figurines, framed art and knick-knacks you'd typically find in a Christian gift shop.

I was there to talk to a few editors about my work, to learn about what's new in the industry (and see what books are selling these days) and also just to connect with other writers and publishing industry friends.

I got to see face-to-face a number of writers and editors that I typically only keep in touch with via e-mail. This was wonderful. I got to see Suzie Eller, Allison Bottke and Eva Marie Everson, wonderful women that I blog with on www.boomerbabesrock.com/blog. I got to have coffee and dinner with some of the members of The Writers View, an on-line writers group founded and run by Suzie Eller. I'm glad to be home, though--I love people but I lean toward being an introvert--so I'm needing some solitude to sort of recover from the four days of being around people.

I shared a room with my friend and fellow MOPS author Lorilee Craker. I feel as though we have added another layer of depth to our friendship, since we usually only e-mail (or IM when we are both procrastinating on writing projects). It's nice to have a friend who, like me, doesn't get tired of talking about books or writing. She's a talented woman who loves Jesus and I'm blessed to know her.

Bringing yourself flowers

2007-07-05T19:44:00.001-05:00

I'm blogging today at www.boomerbabesrock.com/blog
here's a taste of my column on being kind to yourself:

I’ve always been one to bring flowers from my garden when I go visit someone. I recycle the little bottles that Starbucks Frappacino comes in (they look like mini old-fashioned milk bottles) to use as vases.
This summer, I feel like I spend more time at the computer than in the garden. But I have taken an important step of growth. I don’t just bring flowers to other people. I have had fresh flowers on my desk all summer. Right now, baby pink roses.
So often, I think, we don’t bother to offer ourselves the same kindness we bestow on others. So I’ve made it a discipline, really, to pick a small bouquet and put it on my desk. For me—to take care of myself, instead of only others. (Read the whole column here)

Also, for those interested in the Sabbath topic, I've put up another post on Today's Children's Ministry. Click here to read it.

MOPS International sponsors chat about Breathe

2007-06-18T12:27:00.000-05:00

Some 110,000 moms around the country received a free copy of my book Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life last month, courtesy of my co-publisher, MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers). MOPS sent it, along with MomSense magazine, to all of their members. Since that mailing went out, I've been getting e-mails almost daily from women who tell me how much they enjoy the book. Like this one from Tonya in Byron, IL:

"I just started reading Breathe for a book study with my MOPS group. So far, I LOVE IT!!!!! I think it is just what most of the women in my group need right now. I can't tell you how many times I talk to my fellow mothers and the whole time we just compain about how busy we all are. Most of our children are still young enough that we can set our boundaries now and try to hold onto them. My husband and I have just started attending church after a LONG absense. Strangely, we didn't think we had time to commit to joining a church... however, that should have been one of our top priorities. I have felt God's work in my life a lot lately and bringing this book into my life is just another blessing. Just wanted to share with you that your book has reached out and touched my life. Thank you. Sincerely, Tonya"

Now that people have had a chance to start reading the book, MOPS is sponsoring an on-line discussion group at their website this week.

If you have a question or comment about the book, or you're just thinking about picking up a copy and want to see what the book is about and listen in on a discussion of it, just go to www.mops.org/breathe and you'll see the instructions for how to participate.

If you're a MOPS member and going to the annual convention this September, I hope you'll sign up for the workshop I'm leading there. It's based on my book Oxygen.

Burger King and fair wages

2007-06-15T12:12:00.000-05:00

"Listen! The wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, cry out, and the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts." (James 5:4)

Our fast-moving society allows us to be blind to the injustices all around us. We don't realize that the workers who pick the coffee beans for our morning brew, or a the tomatoes for our fast-food burgers, are toiling in near slavery. Who knew that pulling through the drive-through to grab a burger could be such a significant decision?

I received an e-mail from Sojourners today, about Burger King and the wages paid to workers who pick tomatoes for this company. Here are some of the highlights of what they said:

Farm workers who pick tomatoes for Burger King's sandwiches earn 40 to 50 cents for every 32-pound bucket of tomatoes they pick, a rate that has not risen significantly in nearly 30 years. Workers who toil from dawn to dusk must pick two tons of tomatoes to earn $50 in one day.

Worse yet, modern-day slavery has reemerged in Florida's fields; since 1997, the U.S. Department of Justice has prosecuted five slavery rings, freeing more than 1,000 workers. As a major buyer of Florida tomatoes, Burger King's purchasing practices place downward pressure on farm worker wages and put corporate profits before human dignity.

I hope you'll forward the info to others. Ignorance of how our buying habits affect others is no excuse. We have an obligation to be intelligent. And to not eat at Burger King.

Helicopter Parenting

2007-06-14T17:01:00.000-05:00

I'm blogging today at www.boomerbabesrock.com/blog, so click on over and check out my post on parents who hover over their children's lives, not just when they're young but even as those children enter the workforce!
Wanting the best for your child doesn't mean we ought to be accompanying them to job fairs, or worse, calling to follow up on their job interviews. But it's happening and causing headaches for human resource professionals everywhere. Read more here.

World Vision made me cry

2007-06-08T07:23:00.000-05:00

I sat at in my kitchen this morning, crying in my coffee. And for once, it wasn’t about me. Well, not directly about me.

As Frederick Buechner wrote, "When you find yourself with tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention."

Before me I spread out a handful of pictures of little girls from Third World countries: Loveness in Zambia, Kidest in Ethiopia, Machilu in Malawi.
The photos of their sweet faces were included in a request from World Vision to sponsor girls. Because in many cultures, especially people living in poverty, girls get a lot less medicine, food and education than boys.
We’ve sponsored children through World Vision for several years now. For a while, we sponsored Edna Blanc in Haiti. Then, as often happens, her family moved away from the area where World Vision provides services. When I got the letter saying she’d no longer be my sponsored child, I cried. We’d only exchanged a few letters and birthday cards but I had her photo on my fridge and I prayed for her all the time.
The same thing has happened with a boy that I’ve sponsored this year. Yothin Sarinon and his family are moving away from the area in Thailand where they could receive sponsorship.
I read the appeal letter to my thirteen year old daughter. And we had a great talk about how women and girls are often mistreated. “Compared to boys, they’re less likely to receive adequate medical care or food,” the letter said. That means if there is a brother and a sister who are sick, the family will give medicine to the boy but not the girl, I explained. I looked at the precious children’s faces on my table, and I longed to gather them all into my arms and bring them home.
Sponorship is costs about $30 per month—about one dollar per day. I spend that on coffee, easily. You could even downsize your coffee from a Venti to a Grande or Tall, and use the difference to change a child’s life. I decided to sponsor two girls. But there are still more girls—on my kitchen table and around the world. Won’t you join me in sponsoring a little girl? Go to www.worldvision.org/sponsorGirls In changing a life, you just might change your own.

Sabbath column

2007-06-05T16:41:00.000-05:00

Correction: the following more clearly states the nature of my column, which I write for www.Todayschildrensministry.com . It's a part of www.christianitytoday.com, but I am not a columnist for the magazine of the same name. Just to clarify.

My monthly web column for kids ministry leaders, For Your Soul, was featured front and center on the ChristianityToday.com website today. Usually it's tucked away on the Today's Children's Ministry page. That's the good news.

The bad news is that said column contained an error--a glaring one. I wrote about Sabbath, and said it was the sixth commandment. Nope. It's the fourth. And I knew that. I really did. But I was hurrying to write my column (which was about slowing down and taking a day of rest, ironically) and somehow that got in there. Ugg.

As my kids would say, "my bad!"

Since it was featured so prominently, I've been getting e-mails today (mostly from pastors) helpfully pointing out my error.

Not to put to fine a point on it, these readers have not been kind.

Here's one comment that someone left anonymously on my website:

"I am astounded that you would write an article about Sabbath keeping, have it published online in Christianity Today, and not bother to get the number of the commandment right. Remember the Sabbath is the fourth commandment.

The sixth commandment is Do not Kill."

Ouch. I feel like such a fool.

Ok, Mr. Anonymous Bible Expert, speaking of the SIXTH commandment, here's a verse for you: Matthew 5:21-22. Where Jesus says that anyone who says "You fool!" will be in danger of the fire of hell. In other words, that unkind words can wound like a knife.

Now, I admit, I got the number wrong. And I hate any kind of inaccuracy in my writing. And again, to clarify, it wasn't in Christianity Today (the magazine) but on a website run by the same company. But the number of the commandment wasn't the point of the article--it was about how to practice Sabbath, to take a rest, and how we often don't do that. Still, the majority of the e-mails have been about my mistake, and only a few have asked for help with actually practicing Sabbath, or offered insights about it. And if we know the number, or the letter of the law, but don't live by the Spirit of the law, what good is that?

I wrote about Sabbath in my book Breathe. And I'm currently working on another book on this topic. Because Sabbath is more than commandment number, and even more than just a day. And I do know it is the fourth commandment. but, as the response to my article shows, we tend to focus on the wrong things when it comes to Sabbath.

The Sabbath and Jubilee commandments of the Bible reflect God's heart for justice, generosity. they are commands to trust, to rest, to share. You can learn more about this side of the Sabbath from my friends at Bartimaeus Cooperative Ministries.

I'll post more later about some more thoughtful responses to my column. A few people asked me about further details on how to actually practice Sabbath, and I'd love to hear from some of you about that!

Presidential candidates to discuss faith, poverty

2007-06-04T11:38:00.000-05:00

I'm on the e-mail list for Sojourners Magazine, so I received this notice from Jim Wallis today--he's going to be on CNN tonight with the Democratic presidential candidates talking about faith and politics.
No matter where you stand politically, I think people of faith need to be concerned about poverty--and for too long, many Christians have done too little (myself included). The problems of poverty seem so overwhelming--but I for one am wanting to learn how I can make a difference. Poverty is not a private, individual problem--it hurts us corporately.

Here's the info from Sojourners:

"Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, and Barack Obama join us for a conversation about faith, values, and poverty broadcast live on CNN (7 p.m. Eastern / 4 p.m. Pacific).
And in hundreds of churches and homes across the country, people of faith like you will be gathering to watch the candidates and help us issue a prophetic challenge to put poverty at the top of the political agenda.
It's not too late to join them -- click here to find a watch party in your area.
We're calling the event "Faith Guiding Our Votes," because it will be a unique forum to ask questions not just about issues, but about values. Not just what policies the candidates propose, but why. Not just whether they believe privately, but about how they live out their faith in public life.
Be sure to stay tuned immediately after the forum (8 p.m. Eastern / 5 p.m. Pacific), as I'll be interviewed live on CNN by Paula Zahn to offer my own reaction to the evening's events.
Tonight also marks the launch of our efforts leading up to the 2008 election -- including a similar forum with the Republican candidates we're planning for the fall -- and the launch of our campaign to Vote Out Poverty, challenging candidates from both political parties to go on the record with specific plans for overcoming poverty at home and abroad.
I'm looking forward to it, and I hope you'll tune in."

So, I'd be interested in hearing from those of you who watch. Or those of you who decide not to--tell me why.

A mom's work

2007-05-21T09:34:00.000-05:00

In this month's issue of my e-zine, Connecting with Keri Wyatt Kent, I wrote about looking for heroes that looked like me. How most of the writers held up as examples to me in college were men. And how I was looking for a hero who looked like me.

Here's an excerpt from my essay:

"This week, the Chicago Tribune Sunday Magazine ran a story about biologist Steve Goodman’s work to catalog and preserve biodiversity in the jungles of Madagascar. The note from the magazine’s editor on the opening page had a profile of the photographer and also the reporter who went into the jungle (risking life and limb) to get the story and photos. The reporter, Laurie Goering, is a mom.
When I saw that, I felt a sense of longing—what if... And then I wondered, who did Laurie Goering look to as a role model? Who told her it was okay to be a foreign correspondent and a mom, both? How come no one told me that?" (click here to read this and other back issues)

I got an e-mail this morning from Laurie Goering, that correspondent. (don' t you just love Google?) She contacted me and said she enjoyed what I'd written. IN her e-mail, she sent me the text of a speech she gave in Chicago last October. (Yes, in case you're wondering: having someone you admire contact you in this way is a trip!) Laurie has two kids, ages one and three. She has simply taken them with her, and with the help of a nanny and a great husband, continued her career. She took her preschoolers with her to Madagascar! She is a hero to me--because she's figured out a way to do the working mom gig on her own terms.

Here are a few excerpts from the speech text she sent me:

WHEN I ARRIVED AT THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE IN 1987 AS AN INTERN NOT LONG OUT OF COLLEGE, I WENT TO SEE THE PAPER'S TOP EDITORS RIGHT AWAY. I EXPLAINED TO THEM THAT SINCE I WAS JUST BACK FROM SOUTH AFRICA, WHERE I'D BEEN DOING SOME FREELANCE WRITING ABOUT APARTHEID AND FINISHING UP A MASTER'S DEGREE IN AFRICAN STUDIES, MY EXPERIENCEQUALIFIED ME TO BE THE PAPER'S AFRICA CORRESPONDENT. THEY NODDED IMPATIENTLY AND I'M SURE LAUGHED A LITTLE LATER, AND THEY TOLD ME TO GO WORK IN THE SUBURBS.

I LIKED THE SUBURBS. I ANGLED TO GET THE SOUTH SUBURBAN BUREAU, WHERE THERE WAS NO EDITOR AND ONLY A COUPLE OF REPORTERS. I WANDERED AROUND ON MY OWN, LOOKING FOR GOOD TALES TO TELL AND GRADUALLY MANAGED TO EXTEND MY BEAT AS FAR AS MISSOURI AND IOWA AND INDIANA. I DIDN'T CALL THE EDITORS MUCH BUT I FILED A FEW GOOD STORIES AND RESISTED ALL OF THE PAPER'S EFFORTS TO LURE ME BACK TO THE CHICAGO OFFICE. IN 1994, AFTER DECIDING I WAS BASICALLY A FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT ALREADY, THE EDITORS RELENTED AND SENT ME TO BRAZIL.

SINCE THEN I'VE HAD A REALLY INTERESTING TIME. I'VE BEEN SHOT AT ON THE WAY TO BAGHDAD, RUN POLICE ROADBLOCKS IN THE IVORY COAST, BEEN ARRESTED IN BOTSWANA, TEARGASSED IN ZIMBABWE, WATCHED A COUP ATTEMPT IN PARAGUAY AND SEEN A MILLION PEOPLE STREAMING OUT OF RWANDA DURING THE GENOCIDE THERE.

ON HAPPIER DAYS I'VE ALSO PADDLED A CANOE DOWN THE FLOODED AMAZON RIVER, SHAKEN NELSON MANDELA'S HAND, CHATTED WITH FIDEL CASTRO, COMPETED IN BARREL RACING AT THE CUBAN RODEO AND DRIVEN A VAN THROUGH AFGHANISTAN AS DELIGHTED LITTLE GIRLS RAN ALONGSIDE YELLING, "A GIRL! A GIRL IS DRIVING!" WOMEN DON'T DRIVE IN AFGHANISTAN, BUT THE DRIVER WAS TIRED AND I FIGURED, WHY NOT? ...

I HAVE TWO YOUNG KIDS, A DAUGHTER WHO'S JUST SHORT OF THREE YEARS OLD AND A SON WHO IS ONE. PLENTY OF PEOPLE TOLD ME THAT MOTHERHOOD AND THIS JOB WERE INCOMPATIBLE, THAT I'D NEVER MANAGE, THAT I'D HATE THE TRAVEL AND BEING AWAY FROM THE KIDS. THEY WERE RIGHT ABOUT THAT LAST PART. SO I'VE JUST TAKEN THE KIDS ALONG.

SINCE SHE WAS CONCEIVED, MY DAUGHTER HAS BEEN IN MORE THAN 30 COUNTRIES ON FOUR CONTINENTS AND MY SON'S QUICKLY CATCHING UP.

I'VE BEEN ABLE TO MANAGE IT IN PART BECAUSE I HAVE A WONDERFULLY UNDERSTANDING HUSBAND, TERRIFIC PARENTS-WHO ARE HERE TONIGHT-WHO PUTUP WITH THEIR GRANDCHILDREN BEING 10,000 MILES AWAY, AND THE WORLD'SGREATEST NANNY. WHEN I FLY AROUND AFRICA, THE TRIBUNE BUYS ME A PLANE TICKET, I BUY THE NANNY AND THE KIDS TICKETS AND WHILE I'M OFF DOING INTERVIEWS ALL DAY THEY'RE DOING GREAT THINGS LIKE FEEDING GIRAFFES OR SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN.

EQUALLY IMPORTANT TO MY SUCCESS WITH THIS HAVE BEEN SOME UNBELIEVABLYUNDERSTANDING EDITORS AT THE TRIBUNE, WHO'VE BEEN UNSTINTINGLY SUPPORTIVE AND WHO ACCEPT THAT I CAN'T GO TO BAGHDAD ANYMORE FOR SIX WEEKS AT A TIMEAND THAT BETWEEN 5 P.M. AND 8 P.M. I'M GIVING KIDS BATHS AND FEEDING THEM DINNER AND PUTTING THEM TO BED SO IT MIGHT BE A COUPLE OF HOURS YET BEFORE I GET THAT STORY FILED. I COULDN'T DO THIS JOB WITHOUT THEM AND THEIR UNENDING SUPPORT.

IT'S BEEN EXHAUSTING SOMETIMES BUT THE KIDS HAVE HAD A GREAT TIME. MY DAUGHTER NOW KNOWS HOW TO CLIMB INTO AN AIRPLANE SEAT, FASTEN THE BELT, PUT DOWN THE TRAY TABLE AND WAVE FOR A DRINK. THEY BOTH HAVE PASSPORTS FULL OF VISAS FOR PLACES LIKE SUDAN AND ETHIOPIA AND SENEGAL AND GHANA AND MY DAUGHTER SPEAKS A BIT OF ZULU AND XHOSA. BUT WHAT I LIKE MOST IS THAT THEY'RE GROWING UP CONFIDENT WITH NEW SITUATIONS AND COMFORTABLE WITH NEW PEOPLE.

WHEN I WAS IN A RURAL AREA OF SOUTH AFRICA REPORTING RECENTLY, MY DAUGHTER SPENT THE DAY BAREFOOT, HERDING GOATS WITH THE LOCAL KIDS AND CARRYING FIREWOOD, WHILE MY SON CHASED CHICKENS. I FIGURED IT SURE BEAT DAYCARE.

THE KIDS HAVE MADE ME A BETTER CORRESPONDENT TOO. AFTER YEARS IN A JOB LIKE THIS, SEEING A LOT OF HUMAN SUFFERING, IT'S EASY TO DISTANCE YOURSELF AND BEGIN LOOKING AT PEOPLE AS GOOD LEADS FOR STORIES AND GOOD QUOTES AND GOOD COLOR. BUT WHEN YOU PASSIONATELY, MADLY LOVE YOUR KIDS-AND UNDERSTAND HOW OTHER PEOPLE DO TOO-YOU SEE HUMAN SUFFERING IN A WHOLE DIFFERENT LIGHT.

Okay, isn't she cool?

Now, some of you are maybe wondering, I thought this blog was about how faith impacts real life. So why all this stuff about working moms?

Here's why: God gave each of us passions and dreams--these give us a clue to our calling. Our faith is not just about us, it's about how we impact others. To do work that God calls you to do, to impact the world with truth, that's a spiritual practice. That leads to spiritual fruit: joy.

Every person, regardless of gender, is created in the image of God. As such, they need to be part of a purpose greater than themselves. Because it will test their faith, because it will bring them joy, because it will help others, and lots of other reasons. During certain seasons, for some women, motherhood is enough of a calling. And that's great. But the "mom only" phase of life is short, and making it your sole focus, while an option, is not the only choice.

Women, especially within Christian circles (unfortunately), tend to think their choices are more limited than they really are, although sometimes takes faith to believe that. And even more faith to act on that.

What are you doing today to pursue God's calling? To be all that God made you to be? To let your light shine?
As Marianne Williamson wrote: "We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. ... And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Follow Your Passion

2007-05-18T17:43:00.000-05:00

I write and speak a lot about living your dreams, seeing your passions as God's calling on your life. I don't talk a whole lot about it at home. Or maybe I do and don't realize it. Maybe I talk about it by doing it--which I think moms can do. Your kids watch how you live your life, and learn a lot more from that, probably, thanthey do from your words.
Anyway, I was looking at my son's American Revolution report. He and a partner created a book, of sorts. He had to write his own bio at the end of it. Here's some of what he wrote about himself:

Aaron ... likes the film series Star Wars and watches it often. He also likes to build with the common building toy Lego’s. Many people think he is a good artist, and he thinks it is his passion. He says his motto is “Follow your passion.”

How many fifth graders do you know that have thought about their life's motto? And to have one like that? Here's a boy steeped in the suburban culture that is all about achievement, mostly in sports. But he's not into sports (except golf). He loves art, he draws every day just for fun. I think for him it's a kind of spiritual practice. He doesn't want to compete, he wants to do what he loves. You can see his artwork in the photo below.
He knows who he is, he follows his passion instead of following the crowd. I feel blessed to be his mom.

Mother's Day gifts

2007-05-17T08:10:00.000-05:00

kids

with

their

gifts

for

me.

A chore chart may seem like an odd gift, but it's what I asked for. I blogged about this at www.boomerbabesrock.com/blog last week and today, check it out.

My daughter drew up a chart with chores for everyone in the family. I asked my family to create a plan, and implement it, and that's all I wanted for Mother's Day.

My son, the artist, also painted this gorgeous painting for me. My husband bought me roses, which was so sweet. But won't get him out of chore duty. For all of us, it's a learning process. For example, my darling husband learned this week that we own a mop. And need to use it on our white tile floors regularly. Who knew?? Read more by clicking the link above. and if this whole motherhood thing makes you anxious, read my post below.

Chore wars update

2007-05-16T16:40:00.000-05:00

As I am negotiating a fairer division of labor at my home, I've been throwing fuel on the fire by reading Judith Warner's excellent social history Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety. It's about how many of us today approach motherhood with "control-freakishness" of frightening proportions. And how our winner-take-all American culture is hurting kids, moms and families.
I recommend this book, even tho, like me, you may not agree with her on every issue (such as abortion--she's in favor of allowing it) . But don't, ahem, throw the baby out with the bathwater. Rather than focus on the one thing you disagree with, see if you have any common ground. She's a very astute observer of culture. And I have to agree with her calls for policy changes that help families. Reading this has helped me understand what I'm up against as a woman and a mom.
It also helps me understand people like the woman who approached me after a speaking gig to talk about the stress of play dates. She described things like running to Whole Foods, blowing her budget on snacks she thought would impress the mom who tended to show up for play dates "wearing a fur vest." The visiting fashionista mom didn't even eat the food. I told this mom to just pull out mac and cheese next time, with no apologies. Next time I run into a stressed-out mom, I'll recommend this book. It really helped me put a frame around motherhood, as I have experienced it both as a mom and as a child.
Tomorrow, check out my own attempts to make my house a more egalitarian place when I post an update to my mother's day saga at www.boomerbabesrock.com/blog.

A Missional community

2007-05-14T15:23:00.000-05:00

I've had the privilege of getting to know Allison Hosack over the last two months, as we experienced Breakthrough Ministries BUILD class together. Allison is an intern at Willow and is heading up a team of 20-somethings who have decided to move into an under-resourced neighborhoood in Elgin to live in a "missional community." Her blog tells more about this "Elgin Experiment."

The idea is basically this: a group of Christian folks move into an apartment complex, and simply love their neighbors and build community with each other. Rather than go on "mission trips" to the city, they move in and become a part of a missional community. It's social justice activism at its finest.
While I'm way beyond my 20's, I'm excited about supporting Allison, in prayer, financially and by being what Allison and I call "an old person," --which, since I'm over 40, this team thinks I am. Allison told me she needed a few "old people" to stop by and visit, talk with and pray for her team, etc. But seriously, I want to encourage and cheer on this amazing group of young people. I have great hope for the church if this is the kind of radical faith this generation has.

What I'd like for Mother's Day

2007-05-10T22:30:00.000-05:00

The other night, I got so mad about the imbalance of the workload in our house, I walked out during dinner. I blogged today at www.boomerbabesrock.com/blog
about the whole "chore wars" situation:

My daughter was born just two months before Mother’s Day, thirteen years ago. That first year, I waited expectantly for my husband to acknowledge the day with a card or gift. Nope. “You’re not my mother,” he explained, genuinely puzzled.
After I explained that ten months of discomfort and 27 hours of labor pain obligated him to both card and lots of anti-oxidant rich dark chocolate, he’s done a much better job. He honestly didn’t know my expectations, but after I made those clear, he’s attempted to meet them. (read the whole article)

Post a comment--what do you want for Mother's Day? What about a cease-fire in the chore wars?

thinking positively

2007-05-03T17:45:00.000-05:00

I blogged at www.boomerbabesrock.com/blog about my recent experience meeting Mary Nelson, founder of Bethel New Life ministry in West Garfield Park neighborhood of Chicago. Mary has a been a social activist and an incredible community organizer. Read more at Boomer Babes Rock!

Quaker Summer

2007-05-01T19:07:00.000-05:00

Okay, I said I was going to do book reviews on Friday but I was on deadline with several magazine articles and didn't get to it. So I reviewed Lisa Samson's new book Quaker Summer in my newsletter today. What a great book! Lisa is a talented writer and great story teller. Read the review and the rest of the newsletter by clicking here.

Solitude

2007-04-26T18:19:00.000-05:00

I'm blogging about solitude in non-typical settings today. Check it out at www.boomerbabesrock.com/blog.

the blog tour continues

2007-04-23T19:23:00.000-05:00

Since Oxygen hit stores, I've been written about on blogs--sometimes in a positive way, sometimes not.
It's strange how the Internet connects us to people who don't live nearby, but share our interests. Fellow writer LaShaunda Hoffman reviewed my book on her cool blog today, check it out at
http://lashaunda.blogspot.com
Thanks LaShaunda!

A princess of a different color

2007-04-19T08:30:00.000-05:00

I'm blogging today at www.boomerbabesrock.com/blog
about Disney's plans for The Frog Princess, featuring their first African-American princess. Stop by and post a comment!

Book review: Oxygen

2007-04-16T07:31:00.000-05:00

Author Susie Larson's latest newsletter has a nice review of my book Oxygen in it. You can read the whole newsletter by clicking here. Here's the review she did:

Great Books for a Deeper Life: Oxygen: Deep Breathing for the Soul by Keri Wyatt Kent$12.99

I love this book! Using timeless techniques in a contemporary way, Keri Wyatt Kent leads the reader to deeper places of rest, meditation, and prayer. She takes portions of Jesus’ journey on earth and brings them to life today. She asks you to read a certain passage, and then she asks you to go back to it again, but this time at a slower pace and with a listening ear. Over and over again you’ll ask yourself, what is God saying to me here? Keri leads you through journaling exercises that will help you reflect on and apply what you are gleaning from Scripture. I love the way Keri writes and I love her heart for intimacy. Buy this book!

Susie is an encouraging author and speaker. You can check out her blog at http://susielarsonblog.typepad.com/

Simplifying Supper

2007-04-13T12:56:00.000-05:00

Starting today, Fridays will feature interviews with other writers. Today, we’re part of author Trish Berg’s “Blog Tour.” She’s visiting Deep Breathing for the Soul to tell us how we can simplify our lives, save on our grocery bill and feel peaceful instead of panicky about getting dinner on the table.

Eating together is good for families, but getting a meal on the table can be a stressful chore.
Trish's new book, The Great American Supper Swap, offers practical help. It’s full of funny stories, recipes, practical tips, even prayers. You can get a copy on amazon, or if you would like an autographed copy, order from Trish’s website.
Trish is all about simplifying motherhood. She publishes a weekly newsletter on that topic, and she understands what it means to be busy! As a mom of four young kids, Trish used supper swapping to simplify life with little ones underfoot. But her ideas are easy to adapt to any life stage. If you have older children, you could have them make some of the meals. If you are single, do this with a group of friends!

So, here's our interview with Trish.

So tell us: what IS supper swapping?

Supper swapping is really a simple solution to that ever present “What’s for dinner,” question.

Supper swapping is women helping women by sharing the cooking responsibility for their families. You cook in bulk then swap meals during the workweek.

What does your supper swap group looks like?

Right now we have 3 families in our group, though I have swapped with 4 families in the past as well.

Our typical week looks like this:
Monday – Nann delivers supper to us at 5:30, hot and ready to eat.
Tuesday – Kelly delivers her meal at noon, prepared but not cooked. At supper time, I throw it in the oven and voila!
Wednesday – Our day off. We eat leftovers from Mon and Tues.
Thursday – My cooking day. I prepare my meal Wednesday evening, and deliver it Thursday around noon, prepared but not cooked.
Friday – Since we have had larger meals already, it’s easy on Fridays to make something simple like spaghetti, sandwiches or grilled burgers.

Each group can decide what constitutes a meal. We only swap one main dish and one side dish, and each family adds salad, bread or vegetables on their own to complete teach meal.

We usually plan 3 months at a time. (Print FREE meal calendars at http://www.trishberg.com/)

Why is the family meal so important to our kids?

Eating dinner together as a family opens communication, helps children to eat healthier, feel more connected to their parents, feel loved and cherished. These benefits have a lifelong impact on our children.

According to research from Columbia University, children who eat dinner with their family on a regular basis are 60% less likely to smoke cigarettes, 50% less likely to use drugs, and 66% less likely to drink alcohol. The family meal has a lifelong impact on our kids!

In your book, you also mention saving money through supper swapping.

Supper swapping can save families up to $4000 a year or more as they buy groceries more in bulk, shop with a plan wasting less food, and reduce their expenditures on fast food and pizza.

For example:

Ordering pizza or take out costs around $25 for a family of 6. If you are now ordering pizza or buying take out 3 times a week:

$25 * 3 = $75 a week
$75 * 4.5 weeks a month = $337.50 per month
$337.50 * 12 months = $4,050 per year

You could save over $4000 a year on that alone, and that’s not even counting the money you’ll save buying in bulk and shopping with a plan!

With so many other dinner options out there, why do you think supper swapping is becoming a hot trend?

Today’s families run at a fast pace unheard of 30 years ago. Usually, dinner is fast food, on the go grab bag, or relegated to pizza, take out or frozen quick fix meals. These meals are unhealthy and expensive.

Supper swapping cuts the time you spend cooking by up to 80%. For about 1-2 hours of meal preparation and 15-30 minutes or less of meal delivery one day a week, you get a week’s worth of hot, fresh, homemade dinners.

What do you hope families gain from The Great American Supper Swap?

Supper swapping can save families $4000 a year or more, reduce cooking by 80%, create a greater sense of community by adding deeper faith and friendships, and help families eat healthier food.

BUT MOST OF ALL – it gathers families around their dinner table together. That’s my mission. A return to the family meal.
For more information on The Great American Supper Swap or Trish Berg, go to http://www.trishberg.com/.

Family meals

2007-04-12T11:06:00.000-05:00

I'm blogging on www.boomerbabesrock.com/blog today, talking about a strategy for family meals. Check it out.

Doing what you love

2007-04-11T12:23:00.000-05:00

My monthly newsletter, Connecting With Keri Wyatt Kent, is out. Each month includes spiritual encouragement, book reviews, journaling questions and more. Here's an exerpt:

I was lucky to grow up in a home where work was celebrated. A lot of us grew up in homes where work was valued: our parents worked hard, and perhaps expected us to work hard. But the joy of work—that’s a little different.

Read the whole newsletter by clicking here.

102 years young

2007-04-09T08:32:00.000-05:00

Great story on the front page of the Chicago Tribune about Thurmon Perry, a 102-year-old man who is a pillar of faith in his community on Chicago's west side.
He begins and ends his day with prayer, and continues to engage in meaningful work that shows God's love to the people around him. Here's a quote from the story:

"His mind is sharp, his handshake strong, his philosophy on life tough to argue with: 'If you live right, right will follow. If you live wrong, wrong will catch up to you. It's as simple as night and day.' "
Read the whole story by clicking here.

The print version ran a photo of Mr. Perry worshipping in church. Gotta love when mainstream media tells redemptive stories. Rock on, Mr. Perry!

2007-04-08T12:56:00.000-05:00

I received this beautiful photo from my friends at The Transforming Center.

Happy Easter everyone!

He is risen indeed!

The Joy Motor

2007-04-06T09:01:00.000-05:00

On my desk, I have a cut-glass vase housing bright yellow daffodils and two small but pungent purple hyacinths. All from my garden, which suddenly came into bloom during a warm spell last week.
A few days of warm weather (along with plenty of rain) turned the grass from faded yellow to bright green, pushed the bulbs I planted last fall to bloom, and brought all of us out into the sun to play.
Play may not seem like a spiritual practice, but it is an essential one, if we are to obey the commands of Scripture: Rejoice in the Lord always! The joy of the Lord is your strength!
(read my entire "For Your Soul" column by clicking here.)

Caption: My dog Jack and I pick daffodils. Photo by Melanie Kent.

Conservapedia

2007-04-04T20:45:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm a Christian and maybe, years ago, would have called myself a conservative. But good grief, I'm done. Not with Jesus, no, I'm sticking with him. But that label seems to have been hijacked by a very small but vocal group. Ugg.
The Chicago Tribune ran a story this week about Conservapedia, a new on-line encyclopedia that promises "unbiased" content as an alternative to that wicked Wikipedia. Except that Conservapedia is full of misspellings, absurdities and an strident bias in the opposite direction.
Created by Andrew Schlafly, Phyllis Schlafly's son, it is supposed to be a conservative-oriented version of Wikipedia for home-schoolers and/or (apparently) people also who don't vacinate their children and think global warming is just political hogwash.
The best post about the flap I've read is here
Do the Conservapedia folks not realize that Wikipedia is not meant to be a definitive source? It's a place for everyone to share ideas and information. It never claims to be unbiased or even infallibly accurate.
Jesus said don't hide your light under a bushel, but let it shine. He said we should be like salt, that changes and flavors everything it touches. He told us to go into all the world and preach the gospel. Would Jesus create his own site, or would he go post his ideas on Wikipedia? Wikipedia is the perfect opportunity for conservatives to be salt and light--but the Conservapedia group doesn't seem to be interested in that anymore, since they're focused on building conservative salt shakers to insulate themselves from the world.
If most people thought conservative Christians were anti-intellectual, this move will confirm it. The sad part is, this small group does not really represent the views of most people who would call themselves conservative. And it makes more rational conservatives want to drop that label to avoid being connected with these wacky folks. This would be funny if it weren't just so sad.

Listening for God

2007-04-02T22:07:00.000-05:00

When I get some good reader questions, I'll be answering them here.

Let's start with a question I received from a reader while I was leading a retreat. She writes, “In your book Listen you say we should let God call us to pray. We’ve been used to going to God when we’re ready. Explain more.”

Well, actually, what I wrote was: “When I feel a desire to pray, it is God’s spirit that stirs up that desire in the first place. Think about that: God initiates and seeks you out. … God cares enough about me to initiate conversation and relationship. I am the beloved. I am not just the seeker, I am the sought. I am the object of God’s affection. It’s a truth that demands a response.” (Listen: Finding God in the Story of Your Life )

Explain more? It’s really a matter of perspective. God, who knows all and continually searches the earth that he may strongly support those whose hearts are fully his (2 Chronicles 16:9) , can stir, like a gentle breeze, in our souls. When we think we’re about to “go to God when we’re ready,” it’s really that our souls are responding to divine whispers and stirrings.

We need not wait around for God to call. If we desire communication with God, we can trust that God put that desire in our hearts, and respond to it by saying, "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening." (1 Samuel 3:10)

What is it that makes you want to pray? What do you think of the idea that your desire for prayer is actually initiated by the object of those prayers?
Leave your comments and questions, and I’ll pick one to respond to in a future post.

Keep listening!

Keri