Snowed in!

Yet another snow day!

It was a good day to stay home, and enjoy the beauty of a foot of snow falling in less than 12 hours. I love being a working mom, but more than that, I love working from home so that I can make it to work by carrying my coffee cup up the stairs!

Here's a few photos to enjoy. My dog in the snow, my kids in the snow, our house buried in snow, well... you get the idea.

Reader mail: advice for writers

Julie wrote in to ask: "I'm wondering ... how did you start your writing career? Did you always love to write? What would be the first step towards freelance writing and can you recommend any distance learning or writing courses or books that I could start with if I were to pursue writing?"

I started writing in grade school and loved it. Even as a kid I loved reading--and I would say that is a pre-requisite for being a writer--to love to read. Often, the things we love point us toward our calling in life.
I majored in English and worked on the student newspaper in college, got a job as a newspaper reporter right out of college, did that for 10 years or so, and for the last 14 years, have been freelance writing. Having ten years of experience as a professional writer and thousands of clips made it easier to convince my first publisher that I was not a complete rookie.
But writing is not an easy job. A lot of people think you can just do it a little on the side--but being a freelancer means you are running a business. You not only write, you have to market your work, sell yourself and your articles, manage the financial and schedule aspects, etc. You can do it part-time, but the income will reflect that. In fact, even if you do it full time, the income tends to seem more like part-time income.
But if you love writing, it's worth looking into. Question: do you write now? Just for yourself, or whatever? If not, I'd start. A lot of people like the idea of being a writer, but to be one, you need to write--which a lot of people don't have the discipline to do.

Even if the only writing you do is in your journal or blog, do you do it regularly? If you don't write now, you may want to ask yourself, why do I want to be a writer? I'm not trying to discourage you, but it's a competitive field. Do you feel obligated to write, or do you actually enjoy it.
I absolutely love doing it. People sometimes ask me--don't you have to be "inspired" to write? I write every day except Sundays--not just e-mails. It is a discipline, and you do it whether you feel "inspired" or not. The inspiration often comes after you've had your butt in the chair for a while, and not before. I'm not trying to discourage you, but to give you a realistic picture of what it's about.
I'd recommend a book called Making a Literary Life, and also Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird.
If you're interested in freelance writing for magazines, I'd suggest you pick up either The Writers Guide or the Christian Writer's Guide --both are listings of all different magazines, whether they accept freelance written stuff (some publications are entirely staff written), how to get in touch with the editors, etc.
Also, if you haven't had any training in writing, I'd suggest taking a writing or journalism class at a community college, and attending a couple of writer's conferences. There's an excellent Christian writer's conference held in June on the campus of Wheaton College. It's called Write to Publish. (see http://www.writetopublish.com/) You can meet with editors, take classes on all aspects of writing and publishing. Writer's conferences are a great combination of learning and networking, and you need to do both. Mt. Hermon's conference is supposed to be one of the best--it will be held next month in the beautiful Santa Cruz, Calif. area.
There are also a lot of websites out there that have very good information--I've got links to several on my blog.
Hope that helps.
Blessings on your writing, wherever it takes you!

The picture accompanying this post is of a painting by Sally Rosenbaum. Check out her work at www.sallyrosenbaum.com, it's all lovely!

Back to work

I admit it: I love winter. I took both of these photos in my backyard. And they don't do it justice--it really is beautiful.

For those of you who don't get my newsletter (or do get it but would like to comment on it) here's my musings for January from the Connecting with Keri newsletter. (If you like what you read and would like to subscribe, go to http://www.keriwyattkent.com/ and look for my newsletter info.) I'd love to hear your comments or feedback.

Now comes the hard part of winter, when the holidays are over. Here in the Midwest, it’s been cold and snowy for a month or two, but the season is just getting revved up. We’ve had ice storms, snow storms. We’re supposed to get a January thaw this weekend, although I know winter will return with a vengeance. It’s never really over around here until well into April.

I’ve enjoyed the holidays, and spending time with my family. I love just hanging out watching movies, reading Christmas books, visiting the city to look at the lights, or even shopping with my kids. I love the leisurely pace of our lives when they don’t have to get up for school and don’t have to be driven places on a schedule.

Yet there is part of me that longs to reclaim my computer and the quiet space of my home. I am ready for my darling children to go back to school, so I can work without Alvin and the Chipmunks singing “Bad Day” in the background (as it is right now. Again. Sigh.)

While the weather may be hard, this time of year presents a great opportunity to examine our lives, to see where, perhaps, we hope to go next; to align ourselves with God and His purpose.I finished a book manuscript in early December, and a few weeks later, my wonderful agent called with news of yet another book contract.

As a writer, I’m only employed for certain as long as I’ve got another project—this one will take me at least six months. To finish a manuscript and have another project right away is an amazing blessing. I’m grateful. Along with writing, I’ll travel to five states in the next four months for the other half of my job, speaking and teaching at retreats. My work provides meaning, purpose, joy and income. As much as I enjoyed a holiday break, I’m anxious to get back to work.

Perhaps this week, you too are getting back into your normal routine. Back to work, whether that work is caring for young children, adding value to your company, instructing others or engaging in creative endeavors. Whatever “normal routine” is for you, here’s something to consider: how do you go back to normal without falling into the same old rut?

There is no denying that being home with small children is hard work. But I’ve seen many women make it into an all-consuming career. The danger in that is that moms lose themselves, because they forget that parenting young children is a job for a season, not a lifetime. They don’t remember who they are, apart from the role of mom. It also backfires for the kids who can’t help but conclude that they are the center of the universe.

I really think that it’s important for moms to have something other than their children to occupy their thoughts, to give them meaning and purpose. Getting a job, volunteering for a cause that matters to you, taking a class (or maybe even teaching one) can help you hang onto your self during the parenting years.

I have several friends in various stages of the “empty nest” season. Some find themselves floundering—what are they now, if not a hands-on parent? Others are busy “re-inventing” themselves. Which is, I suppose, a healthy step, but one that makes me wonder: what if, somewhere along the way, they had kept a piece of themselves alive by nurturing their own God-given talents? We often find our purpose hidden in our passions. If we’ve spent some time seeking God’s purpose for our lives (beyond the important calling of caring for our family) perhaps we will find that an empty nest would not require complete re-invention, just a minor adjustment.

If you are a parent, do you have something to occupy your energy other than your kids? Something that fills you, invigorates you, challenges you? Something you think God is calling you to do, that fits with your purpose? Whether it is serving at church or on your school PTA, or even just a part-time job to give you a break from the kids and a little spending money to boot?

Whether you are a parent or not, January is a great time to think about how you spend your days, about your purpose and calling. It’s a great time to begin to explore some options. What work is God calling you to do in this season? As you “get back to normal,” take some time to consider whether you want to make some adjustments, set some goals, or perhaps make a fresh start altogether.

Encouraging Words

My monthly e-news went out today. For those that don't yet subscribe, here's what I wrote. You can subscribe by clicking the link I just added at the right.

In the front of the file drawer to the right of my desk, two red file folders sit, bold yet understated.
They hold precious cargo, as evidenced by the label hand written on each: Encouragement. In those folders (one was getting too full so I added a second) I have things like speaking evaluations from retreats that went well, letters from friends, and notes from readers I don’t even know.
In my life, I have sometimes had a tendency to hold onto the discouraging words, the criticism. Or, I make stupid mistakes and then make things worse by beating myself up for doing so. I let the compliments, sincere as they may be, slide like water over my skin. Refuse to drink them in, to taste and see the goodness of a kind word. Or think, if people knew what I was really like, they wouldn’t say nice stuff like that.
God has called me to write—and sometimes that’s a difficult calling. I wonder why I’m doing it, whether my words are just out there, rotting on bookstore shelves (or worse, publishers’ warehouse shelves). The income is sporadic and not great even when it’s there.
I’m called to write about the spiritual life, but I also happen to be someone who is stunningly imperfect—I am a sinner, saved by grace, and lately, I’ve been very aware of my need for grace. Like the apostle Paul, I keep doing things I don’t want to do, and forgetting to do the things that would be wise and kind.So those two folders are not just there to stroke my ego. They are to remind me of my purpose. They are to remind me of God’s love, which is in spite of my mistakes, not because of my accomplishments.
The folders hold, like a reservoir, enough to prime the pump of creative purpose.
When I sit here and try to write, and the words won’t come, and I think—that’s it, I’ve got no more books in me, nothing else relevant to say. When I think, what’s the point, no one cares about this stuff, it’s not helping anyone anyway—I dip into them. And let their contents remind me that God has a purpose for my life, and he’s blessed me with encouraging friends.
Lately I’ve been getting a lot more reader mail than usual, thanks to the fact that MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) sent out 110,000 copies of my book Breathe to their members.
Letters from moms who say things like “this book was divinely sent” and even “You saved my life.”
I’ve always thought of my books as letters of encouragement to people who just want to connect their faith with their actual day to day life. And so I am just so surprised and amazed and grateful for the encouragement that comes back to me.
And in a huge step of believing in myself, I’ve printed out those e-mails and put them in the red folder. Because I’ve had more than a few critics, and people arguing with me about what I write as well.
I don’t print out their e-mails.
I do consider their critiques, but I don’t dwell on them. And if I make a mistake (which I do on a fairly regular basis, unfortunately) I apologize to anyone I’ve wronged.
Do you have an “encouragement” folder? You may not get letters from strangers, but I hope you get drawings from your children, notes from friends, birthday cards, whatever.
Even if you don’t have written words to save in a folder, think about the words you save in your memory. Do you hang on to and replay harsh words of criticism? Do you have a folder in your heart for the words that say “You’re not good enough”? Or do you throw those away and hang onto words like “I’m so glad we’re friends” or “I love you.”
The good news is, God has written you letters of love and strength. So many words in Scripture can be filed in our “encouragement” folder. Here are just a few. Write them on note cards, and put them in a box or folder. When you’re feeling discouraged, pull them out and read them, knowing that they come straight from the heart of a God who loves you outrageously and unconditionally.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving-kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3).
“How great is the love that the Father has lavished upon us, that we should be called children of God. And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1)
“I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from the Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last” (John 15:15,16).
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned” (Isaiah 43:1,2).

A mom's work

In this month's issue of my e-zine, Connecting with Keri Wyatt Kent, I wrote about looking for heroes that looked like me. How most of the writers held up as examples to me in college were men. And how I was looking for a hero who looked like me.

Here's an excerpt from my essay:

"This week, the Chicago Tribune Sunday Magazine ran a story about biologist Steve Goodman’s work to catalog and preserve biodiversity in the jungles of Madagascar. The note from the magazine’s editor on the opening page had a profile of the photographer and also the reporter who went into the jungle (risking life and limb) to get the story and photos. The reporter, Laurie Goering, is a mom.
When I saw that, I felt a sense of longing—what if... And then I wondered, who did Laurie Goering look to as a role model? Who told her it was okay to be a foreign correspondent and a mom, both? How come no one told me that?" (click here to read this and other back issues)



I got an e-mail this morning from Laurie Goering, that correspondent. (don' t you just love Google?) She contacted me and said she enjoyed what I'd written. IN her e-mail, she sent me the text of a speech she gave in Chicago last October. (Yes, in case you're wondering: having someone you admire contact you in this way is a trip!) Laurie has two kids, ages one and three. She has simply taken them with her, and with the help of a nanny and a great husband, continued her career. She took her preschoolers with her to Madagascar! She is a hero to me--because she's figured out a way to do the working mom gig on her own terms.

Here are a few excerpts from the speech text she sent me:



WHEN I ARRIVED AT THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE IN 1987 AS AN INTERN NOT LONG OUT OF COLLEGE, I WENT TO SEE THE PAPER'S TOP EDITORS RIGHT AWAY. I EXPLAINED TO THEM THAT SINCE I WAS JUST BACK FROM SOUTH AFRICA, WHERE I'D BEEN DOING SOME FREELANCE WRITING ABOUT APARTHEID AND FINISHING UP A MASTER'S DEGREE IN AFRICAN STUDIES, MY EXPERIENCEQUALIFIED ME TO BE THE PAPER'S AFRICA CORRESPONDENT. THEY NODDED IMPATIENTLY AND I'M SURE LAUGHED A LITTLE LATER, AND THEY TOLD ME TO GO WORK IN THE SUBURBS.

I LIKED THE SUBURBS. I ANGLED TO GET THE SOUTH SUBURBAN BUREAU, WHERE THERE WAS NO EDITOR AND ONLY A COUPLE OF REPORTERS. I WANDERED AROUND ON MY OWN, LOOKING FOR GOOD TALES TO TELL AND GRADUALLY MANAGED TO EXTEND MY BEAT AS FAR AS MISSOURI AND IOWA AND INDIANA. I DIDN'T CALL THE EDITORS MUCH BUT I FILED A FEW GOOD STORIES AND RESISTED ALL OF THE PAPER'S EFFORTS TO LURE ME BACK TO THE CHICAGO OFFICE. IN 1994, AFTER DECIDING I WAS BASICALLY A FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT ALREADY, THE EDITORS RELENTED AND SENT ME TO BRAZIL.

SINCE THEN I'VE HAD A REALLY INTERESTING TIME. I'VE BEEN SHOT AT ON THE WAY TO BAGHDAD, RUN POLICE ROADBLOCKS IN THE IVORY COAST, BEEN ARRESTED IN BOTSWANA, TEARGASSED IN ZIMBABWE, WATCHED A COUP ATTEMPT IN PARAGUAY AND SEEN A MILLION PEOPLE STREAMING OUT OF RWANDA DURING THE GENOCIDE THERE.

ON HAPPIER DAYS I'VE ALSO PADDLED A CANOE DOWN THE FLOODED AMAZON RIVER, SHAKEN NELSON MANDELA'S HAND, CHATTED WITH FIDEL CASTRO, COMPETED IN BARREL RACING AT THE CUBAN RODEO AND DRIVEN A VAN THROUGH AFGHANISTAN AS DELIGHTED LITTLE GIRLS RAN ALONGSIDE YELLING, "A GIRL! A GIRL IS DRIVING!" WOMEN DON'T DRIVE IN AFGHANISTAN, BUT THE DRIVER WAS TIRED AND I FIGURED, WHY NOT? ...

I HAVE TWO YOUNG KIDS, A DAUGHTER WHO'S JUST SHORT OF THREE YEARS OLD AND A SON WHO IS ONE. PLENTY OF PEOPLE TOLD ME THAT MOTHERHOOD AND THIS JOB WERE INCOMPATIBLE, THAT I'D NEVER MANAGE, THAT I'D HATE THE TRAVEL AND BEING AWAY FROM THE KIDS. THEY WERE RIGHT ABOUT THAT LAST PART. SO I'VE JUST TAKEN THE KIDS ALONG.

SINCE SHE WAS CONCEIVED, MY DAUGHTER HAS BEEN IN MORE THAN 30 COUNTRIES ON FOUR CONTINENTS AND MY SON'S QUICKLY CATCHING UP.

I'VE BEEN ABLE TO MANAGE IT IN PART BECAUSE I HAVE A WONDERFULLY UNDERSTANDING HUSBAND, TERRIFIC PARENTS-WHO ARE HERE TONIGHT-WHO PUTUP WITH THEIR GRANDCHILDREN BEING 10,000 MILES AWAY, AND THE WORLD'SGREATEST NANNY. WHEN I FLY AROUND AFRICA, THE TRIBUNE BUYS ME A PLANE TICKET, I BUY THE NANNY AND THE KIDS TICKETS AND WHILE I'M OFF DOING INTERVIEWS ALL DAY THEY'RE DOING GREAT THINGS LIKE FEEDING GIRAFFES OR SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN.

EQUALLY IMPORTANT TO MY SUCCESS WITH THIS HAVE BEEN SOME UNBELIEVABLYUNDERSTANDING EDITORS AT THE TRIBUNE, WHO'VE BEEN UNSTINTINGLY SUPPORTIVE AND WHO ACCEPT THAT I CAN'T GO TO BAGHDAD ANYMORE FOR SIX WEEKS AT A TIMEAND THAT BETWEEN 5 P.M. AND 8 P.M. I'M GIVING KIDS BATHS AND FEEDING THEM DINNER AND PUTTING THEM TO BED SO IT MIGHT BE A COUPLE OF HOURS YET BEFORE I GET THAT STORY FILED. I COULDN'T DO THIS JOB WITHOUT THEM AND THEIR UNENDING SUPPORT.

IT'S BEEN EXHAUSTING SOMETIMES BUT THE KIDS HAVE HAD A GREAT TIME. MY DAUGHTER NOW KNOWS HOW TO CLIMB INTO AN AIRPLANE SEAT, FASTEN THE BELT, PUT DOWN THE TRAY TABLE AND WAVE FOR A DRINK. THEY BOTH HAVE PASSPORTS FULL OF VISAS FOR PLACES LIKE SUDAN AND ETHIOPIA AND SENEGAL AND GHANA AND MY DAUGHTER SPEAKS A BIT OF ZULU AND XHOSA. BUT WHAT I LIKE MOST IS THAT THEY'RE GROWING UP CONFIDENT WITH NEW SITUATIONS AND COMFORTABLE WITH NEW PEOPLE.

WHEN I WAS IN A RURAL AREA OF SOUTH AFRICA REPORTING RECENTLY, MY DAUGHTER SPENT THE DAY BAREFOOT, HERDING GOATS WITH THE LOCAL KIDS AND CARRYING FIREWOOD, WHILE MY SON CHASED CHICKENS. I FIGURED IT SURE BEAT DAYCARE.

THE KIDS HAVE MADE ME A BETTER CORRESPONDENT TOO. AFTER YEARS IN A JOB LIKE THIS, SEEING A LOT OF HUMAN SUFFERING, IT'S EASY TO DISTANCE YOURSELF AND BEGIN LOOKING AT PEOPLE AS GOOD LEADS FOR STORIES AND GOOD QUOTES AND GOOD COLOR. BUT WHEN YOU PASSIONATELY, MADLY LOVE YOUR KIDS-AND UNDERSTAND HOW OTHER PEOPLE DO TOO-YOU SEE HUMAN SUFFERING IN A WHOLE DIFFERENT LIGHT.

Okay, isn't she cool?

Now, some of you are maybe wondering, I thought this blog was about how faith impacts real life. So why all this stuff about working moms?

Here's why: God gave each of us passions and dreams--these give us a clue to our calling. Our faith is not just about us, it's about how we impact others. To do work that God calls you to do, to impact the world with truth, that's a spiritual practice. That leads to spiritual fruit: joy.

Every person, regardless of gender, is created in the image of God. As such, they need to be part of a purpose greater than themselves. Because it will test their faith, because it will bring them joy, because it will help others, and lots of other reasons. During certain seasons, for some women, motherhood is enough of a calling. And that's great. But the "mom only" phase of life is short, and making it your sole focus, while an option, is not the only choice.

Women, especially within Christian circles (unfortunately), tend to think their choices are more limited than they really are, although sometimes takes faith to believe that. And even more faith to act on that.

What are you doing today to pursue God's calling? To be all that God made you to be? To let your light shine?
As Marianne Williamson wrote: "We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. ... And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Follow Your Passion

I write and speak a lot about living your dreams, seeing your passions as God's calling on your life. I don't talk a whole lot about it at home. Or maybe I do and don't realize it. Maybe I talk about it by doing it--which I think moms can do. Your kids watch how you live your life, and learn a lot more from that, probably, thanthey do from your words.
Anyway, I was looking at my son's American Revolution report. He and a partner created a book, of sorts. He had to write his own bio at the end of it. Here's some of what he wrote about himself:

Aaron ... likes the film series Star Wars and watches it often. He also likes to build with the common building toy Lego’s. Many people think he is a good artist, and he thinks it is his passion. He says his motto is “Follow your passion.”

How many fifth graders do you know that have thought about their life's motto? And to have one like that? Here's a boy steeped in the suburban culture that is all about achievement, mostly in sports. But he's not into sports (except golf). He loves art, he draws every day just for fun. I think for him it's a kind of spiritual practice. He doesn't want to compete, he wants to do what he loves. You can see his artwork in the photo below.
He knows who he is, he follows his passion instead of following the crowd. I feel blessed to be his mom.

Doing what you love

My monthly newsletter, Connecting With Keri Wyatt Kent, is out. Each month includes spiritual encouragement, book reviews, journaling questions and more. Here's an exerpt:

I was lucky to grow up in a home where work was celebrated. A lot of us grew up in homes where work was valued: our parents worked hard, and perhaps expected us to work hard. But the joy of work—that’s a little different.

Read the whole newsletter by clicking here.