And the winner of a free book is...

Okay, the winner of our book giveaway is Karin, who posted the following comment:
Hi Keri & Allison,

Love the BBR blog - it makes me think. Keri - love the look of the new web site!
My daughter is 16 (son is 14) but it is the daughter that has me most concerned. I feel like she expects more and more, whatever we are doing isn't good enough. An example is for her 16th birthday earlier this year we told her that we were going to get her an iPhone. Then apple came out with the 16g and she told us not to get the 8g because if we couldn't get the 16g, don't bother. I feel like we are being held hostage and that she is expecting more and more. Really struggling with this right now. Will this book help me?
Karin

Karin, Congratulations, you're our winner! if you will get in touch with me (go to www.keriwyattkent.com and click on the "contact Keri" form) and send me your addresss, I will send you the book.
But I'd also like to respond to your comment.
I'm not surprised you feel like you are being held hostage. But you are choosing to do so. I'd recommend you explain to your daughter that gifts are just that, gifts. It's easy to understand why she thinks this way--our whole culture does, because you can now register not just for weddings but for kids birthdays, graduations etc. But a gift is something the giver chooses, not something the recipient orders. You need to tell your daughter this--a gift is not something you get to order. If she gives you grief, I would take her up on her offer--and don't buy her either. I think it would be a huge mistake to buy her the 16 g. Think about what that would teach her--that if you are bossy and demanding enough, you get your way. Not a good life lesson. buy her something else, and let her save her money to buy her own iPhone. And yes, I think this book will help you--but you will have to think about what you can do to set good boundaries now.
A good rule of thumb is, any time a child demands that you buy them something, don't do it.
REaders, any thoughts for Karin?

And the winner of a free book is...

Okay, the winner of our book giveaway is Karin, who posted the following comment:
Hi Keri & Allison,

Love the BBR blog - it makes me think. Keri - love the look of the new web site!
My daughter is 16 (son is 14) but it is the daughter that has me most concerned. I feel like she expects more and more, whatever we are doing isn't good enough. An example is for her 16th birthday earlier this year we told her that we were going to get her an iPhone. Then apple came out with the 16g and she told us not to get the 8g because if we couldn't get the 16g, don't bother. I feel like we are being held hostage and that she is expecting more and more. Really struggling with this right now. Will this book help me?
Karin

Karin, Congratulations, you're our winner! if you will get in touch with me (go to www.keriwyattkent.com and click on the "contact Keri" form) and send me your addresss, I will send you the book.
But I'd also like to respond to your comment.
I'm not surprised you feel like you are being held hostage. But you are choosing to do so. I'd recommend you explain to your daughter that gifts are just that, gifts. It's easy to understand why she thinks this way--our whole culture does, because you can now register not just for weddings but for kids birthdays, graduations etc. But a gift is something the giver chooses, not something the recipient orders. You need to tell your daughter this--a gift is not something you get to order. If she gives you grief, I would take her up on her offer--and don't buy her either. I think it would be a huge mistake to buy her the 16 g. Think about what that would teach her--that if you are bossy and demanding enough, you get your way. Not a good life lesson. buy her something else, and let her save her money to buy her own iPhone. And yes, I think this book will help you--but you will have to think about what you can do to set good boundaries now.
A good rule of thumb is, any time a child demands that you buy them something, don't do it.
REaders, any thoughts for Karin?

Getting oriented

Last night, I cooked dinner for my family. (I wrote about it on the Boomer Babes Blog today) But we didn’t get to eat together. As Scot and the kids came in the door, I was walking out, to ride over to the high school with my neighbors Laura and Jon.
It was parent orientation night. Our oldest kids (their son and my daughter) will be starting high school in the fall. They’ve already taken placement tests, registered for school, and now, we had to get oriented.
Which is a good way to put it, because I feel very disoriented. How did I suddenly become old enough to have a child in high school? How did my baby get so tall and wise so fast?
We happen to live in one of the top school districts in the state, and after hearing the presentations last night, I can see why. The focus is on college prep. Students who lag behind (defined as getting one F in any class, or D’s in two classes) are put into guided study halls to make sure they straighten up and fly right. There are courses are offered at general, college-prep or advanced levels, so that every student has a chance to be challenged, but also to succeed. We’ll be getting schedules with placement information in a few months. We had to turn in forms with elective choices for the kids—and guidance counselors offered us advice on getting the history requirement done as a freshman elective. Perusing the thick course catalog, looking at academic department flow charts, I felt like I was in college orientation, rather than high school.
I sat in the auditorium, between two moms I’ve known since our girls were in diapers. I looked around the room, seeing families from my neighborhood, moms from soccer teams Melanie’s played on, parents I recognized from church.
And as much as I’m overwhelmed by the idea of my little girl going to high school, I felt blessed. Not just because we can afford to live in a good school district (believe me, the taxes are not cheap!) but because we live in a neighborhood that is amazingly stable, and amazingly connected. The vast majority of the kids who were in Melanie’s kindergarten class will be going to high school with her in the fall. Five of those kids live within a block of us. And I know their families.
And that was the most orienting thing about orientation night—knowing that the parents who’ve been beside me at soccer games, driven my kids in carpools, suffered through PTA meetings and grade school field trips with me—those friends will also be here as we journey these next four years, as our teenagers grow and become more independent. My prayer is that we’ll all continue to help each other raise our kids—to watch out for them, to love them, to encourage each other as we face frustrations and challenges that are an inevitable part of parenting, especially parenting teenagers. And by caring for the kids, we’ll take care of each other, as we have for the last fourteen years.