Supper Swap (which I reviewed on this blog last year) and Rattled. She has been published in Today’s Christian Woman, MOMSense, CBN.com, P31 WOMAN, and numerous regional and national publications. Trish earned her MBA before leaving the workforce for motherhood, then earned her Doctorate in Diaper Changing in Ohio where she and her husband, Mike, keep busy raising their four children on their family cattle farm.
Trish, welcome back to Deep Breathing for the Soul. Thanks for taking time to be with us today.
Thanks for having me.
I am not sure I could have prepared for that.
But during your pregnancy, you can prepare in other ways. Like arranging for help. Ask your mom or mother-in-law if they can spend one day with you each week during the first few months. Just knowing someone is coming in the morning to help with the baby can make the being up all night not seem so terrible.
You talk about surviving motherhood. How do you help moms do that?
In Rattled, I talk about a mom’s survival kit. If you were thrown out into the wilderness, you would need FOOD, SHELTER, FIRE and WATER to survive.
Well, moms have been thrown out into the wilderness of motherhood, and to survive, they will need:
Water from the word (2 Samuel 22:3a) –To be in God’s Word.
A fire like desire for prayer (1 Thessalonians 5:17) – Moms can pray their way through their day.
Nourishment body, mind and spirit (1 Corinthians 13:13) – Love on all levels nourishes us.
Shelter from life’s storms (Proverbs 17:17)-Friends to lean on, trust, and support us.
In Rattled, I spend some time talking about how moms can use that survival kit to get back to the joy of mothering.
You spent a lot of time listening to what other mothers had to say. Share with us your best advice for new moms.
I would tell moms to relax. No one does it right all the time. Let the laundry pile up. Leave the dishes in the sink, and just enjoy holding your baby today.
Don’t worry about doing “it” right, just enjoy the moments you have.
That is sound advice...
But what aboud dads? Give us a few tips into what dad is going through during the first year.
Dads are just as insecure as moms are about parenthood. Even more so in many cases.
Moms do much of the baby feeding, diaper changing, and baby care. So dads can sometimes feel left out, and incapable of caring for their own baby.
One thing moms can do is encourage dad to be involved. But in doing so, moms must let go of “their way” of doing things, and let dad discover his own way.
For example. When Hannah was a baby, every time Mike would change her diaper, I would criticize the way he changed it. I tried to teach him how to put his fingers under the leg elastic and make sure it wasn’t bunched up, preventing a future leak.
But every time I criticized him, he stepped back and became less involved. And you know what? Even when I did the diapers the “right way” they still sometimes leaked.
So I had to learn to let Mike change her diaper his own way. I let him put her to bed his way, bathe her his way, and be the dad God wanted him to be.
That can be difficult for moms who can tend to be slight control freaks when it comes to baby care.
But let me just encourage you that the help you will get from dad if you can let go of those details will bless you in more ways than you can imagine!
In Rattled you’re very open about the loss of your own pregnancy in 2002. How has that loss changed your outlook on motherhood?
I in the 2nd trimester of my fourth pregnancy when I went in for a regular check up. I was not having any problems at all, and went in alone.
My OB/GYN performed an ultrasound just to check for twins, and suddenly my world turned upside down when he could not find a heart beat.
I was completely devastated. Mike and I had two weeks of further testing before we had assurance that our baby had died. And through it all, I prayed for a miracle, my miracle, that my baby would be alive again.
But in the end, God’s miracle was not that my baby survived. God’s miracle was the reassurance that He used me as a vessel to bring a tiny soul to Heaven.
A year later, I lost another child to miscarriage.
Today, I have a greater sense of love and appreciation for my four children here on earth whom I hug with my arms, and a closer tie to Heaven where my two babies are waiting for me, whom I can only hug with my heart for now.
Today you’re the mom of 4 happy and healthy children. What do you see as the greatest blessing about being a mom?
I would say learning patience, but my husband would laugh out loud at that…since I am probably one of the most impatient people there is.
"I just started reading Breathe for a book study with my MOPS group. So far, I LOVE IT!!!!! I think it is just what most of the women in my group need right now. I can't tell you how many times I talk to my fellow mothers and the whole time we just compain about how busy we all are. Most of our children are still young enough that we can set our boundaries now and try to hold onto them. My husband and I have just started attending church after a LONG absense. Strangely, we didn't think we had time to commit to joining a church... however, that should have been one of our top priorities. I have felt God's work in my life a lot lately and bringing this book into my life is just another blessing. Just wanted to share with you that your book has reached out and touched my life. Thank you. Sincerely, Tonya"
