Day 5

As some of you know (if your read all of the post below) my family and I have engaged in the "five day challenge" along with thousands of others at Willow Creek. Today is day five of eating oatmeal for breakfast, a small serving of rice and beans with a tortilla for lunch, and dinners consisting of rice, beans, a bit of chicken or fish, and a small amount of vegetables. We had occasional snacks of fresh fruit.
We did this to connect, in a very tangible way, with the plight of the poor. Over half the world's population eats this way, probably in smaller portions than I did. and the looming shortages of rice and flour in the headlines today make the situation even more desperate for many more people. We're also taking the money we saved on groceries and donating it to help the hungry.
My entire family joined in this challenge, although I supplemented my kids' meals with milk and a bit larger portions than the recommended one cup. they continued their normal activities, which for my daughter included soccer and track. (she got a few extra tortillas!)
What would it be like to be a mom who could not just give your child an extra tortilla? Who could not offer a break from the monotony of rice and beans with a bit of fruit? My 12-year-old son was hungry last night, I gave him an orange. "I think oranges are the best fruit," he said as he devoured it.
this week has touched us. It has changed the way we pray, the way we view the poor. We will never say the word "hunger" again without remembering this week. We will never be the same again.

Get a free book!

Today you have a chance to win a free book! Read on to find out how.

I am excited to welcome Trish Berg, joining us today to talk about her new mom book, Rattled, Surviving Your Baby’s First Year without Losing Your Cool! Get to know Trish and learn about the book, then leave a comment to be entered into a drawing to receive one of two free copies of Rattled.
I've read this book, and it's very encouraging. It will give new parents practical tools for not only surviving but enjoying the first year of their baby's life. If you're a new mom, or know someone who is, you need this practical, wise book.

Trish is a national speaker for Hearts at Home, author of The Great American Supper Swap (which I reviewed on this blog last year) and Rattled. She has been published in Today’s Christian Woman, MOMSense, CBN.com, P31 WOMAN, and numerous regional and national publications.

Trish earned her MBA before leaving the workforce for motherhood, then earned her Doctorate in Diaper Changing in Ohio where she and her husband, Mike, keep busy raising their four children on their family cattle farm.

Trish, welcome back to Deep Breathing for the Soul. Thanks for taking time to be with us today.

Thanks for having me.

So why is it so easy for moms to get rattled during their baby’s first year?

Motherhood is simply draining and exhausting. Hands down the toughest job I have ever had.

But moms are not alone, and I want moms to know that God walks with them through these exhausting years.

What stresses moms out the most?

I think moms put a lot of pressure on themselves to do it all by themselves, and to do it all the right way. They need to simplify, let go of many details, and ask for help, from their husbands, and from neighbors and friends.

Rattled actually begins by looking at the months of pregnancy. How can moms use this time to prepare to survive baby’s first year?

Nine months is not nearly enough time to fully prepare for motherhood. I am not sure there is enough time to fully prepare.

I remember when our first child, Hannah, was born, I felt that my world had been turned upside down. Hannah did not like to sleep, and so we spent many nights walking the floor, bouncing her up and down, trying desperately to settle her down. My husband, Mike, and I took turns walking laps around the house, like the Indy 500 with a lot more bouncing.

I am not sure I could have prepared for that.

But during your pregnancy, you can prepare in other ways. Like arranging for help. Ask your mom or mother-in-law if they can spend one day with you each week during the first few months. Just knowing someone is coming in the morning to help with the baby can make the being up all night not seem so terrible.

You talk about surviving motherhood. How do you help moms do that?

In Rattled, I talk about a mom’s survival kit. If you were thrown out into the wilderness, you would need FOOD, SHELTER, FIRE and WATER to survive.

Well, moms have been thrown out into the wilderness of motherhood, and to survive, they will need:

Water from the word (2 Samuel 22:3a) –To be in God’s Word.

A fire like desire for prayer (1 Thessalonians 5:17) – Moms can pray their way through their day.

Nourishment body, mind and spirit (1 Corinthians 13:13) – Love on all levels nourishes us.

Shelter from life’s storms (Proverbs 17:17)-Friends to lean on, trust, and support us.

In Rattled, I spend some time talking about how moms can use that survival kit to get back to the joy of mothering.

You spent a lot of time listening to what other mothers had to say. Share with us your best advice for new moms.

I would tell moms to relax. No one does it right all the time. Let the laundry pile up. Leave the dishes in the sink, and just enjoy holding your baby today.

Don’t worry about doing “it” right, just enjoy the moments you have.

That is sound advice...

But what aboud dads? Give us a few tips into what dad is going through during the first year.

Dads are just as insecure as moms are about parenthood. Even more so in many cases.

Moms do much of the baby feeding, diaper changing, and baby care. So dads can sometimes feel left out, and incapable of caring for their own baby.

One thing moms can do is encourage dad to be involved. But in doing so, moms must let go of “their way” of doing things, and let dad discover his own way.

For example. When Hannah was a baby, every time Mike would change her diaper, I would criticize the way he changed it. I tried to teach him how to put his fingers under the leg elastic and make sure it wasn’t bunched up, preventing a future leak.

But every time I criticized him, he stepped back and became less involved. And you know what? Even when I did the diapers the “right way” they still sometimes leaked.

So I had to learn to let Mike change her diaper his own way. I let him put her to bed his way, bathe her his way, and be the dad God wanted him to be.

That can be difficult for moms who can tend to be slight control freaks when it comes to baby care.

But let me just encourage you that the help you will get from dad if you can let go of those details will bless you in more ways than you can imagine!

In Rattled you’re very open about the loss of your own pregnancy in 2002. How has that loss changed your outlook on motherhood?

I in the 2nd trimester of my fourth pregnancy when I went in for a regular check up. I was not having any problems at all, and went in alone.

My OB/GYN performed an ultrasound just to check for twins, and suddenly my world turned upside down when he could not find a heart beat.

I was completely devastated. Mike and I had two weeks of further testing before we had assurance that our baby had died. And through it all, I prayed for a miracle, my miracle, that my baby would be alive again.

But in the end, God’s miracle was not that my baby survived. God’s miracle was the reassurance that He used me as a vessel to bring a tiny soul to Heaven.

A year later, I lost another child to miscarriage.

Today, I have a greater sense of love and appreciation for my four children here on earth whom I hug with my arms, and a closer tie to Heaven where my two babies are waiting for me, whom I can only hug with my heart for now.

Today you’re the mom of 4 happy and healthy children. What do you see as the greatest blessing about being a mom?

I would say learning patience, but my husband would laugh out loud at that…since I am probably one of the most impatient people there is.

So I guess I would have to say enjoying the journey. I live Psalm 118:24 every day of my life.

“This is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.”

Life is messy. Things break. Kids get sick. But moms need to remember to enjoy the journey no matter where the journey leads.

Today at the Berg house, our washing machine is broken. Our mini van needs new tires. We are hanging onto Mike’s 1986 Jeep on a wing and a prayer, hoping it makes it another year or so.

There is mud on my kitchen floor, crumbs on my carpet, and I can honestly say that I love my life. Just as it is.

Now, I certainly have moments where I get stressed and discouraged, and can even lose my temper (just ask my kids), but I am also learning to enjoy each moment of every day as a gift from God.

And thorough it all, my simple hope and prayer is that I can be the mom that God wants me to be.

Where can readers learn more about you, Rattled, your other books, and your ministry to moms?

My website at www.TrishBerg.com offers tons of FREE resources, links and downloads for moms, as well as mor information on my books and ministry.

Moms can also purchase their own copy of Rattled by clicking here.

And I will be speaking at all 3 Hearts at Home Conferences in 2008, I would LOVE for you to join me there. The National conference is in March in Illinois, and in the fall there is a conference in Michigan and Minnesota. You can get more information and register at http://www.hearts-at-home.org/

Thanks, Trish, for joining us today. What a joy to meet you and learn more about your new mom book Rattled.

Thanks for having me. Blessings to you.

Okay, leave a comment and tell us if you'd like to be entered in the drawing for a free book. You can catch up with Trish all week long on her BLAST OUT BLOG TOUR by going to the following sites. There will be FREE book prizes, and great moms to connect with at each blog.

2/15/08
www.keriwyattkent.blogspot.com

http://ramblinroadstoeverywhere.blogspot.com

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/cappuccinosmom

www.mommycomelately.blogspot.com

http://www.cornhuskeracademy.blogspot.com

www.karenehman.com


2/16/08
http://zyphe.blogspot.com/

http://carasmusings.blogspot.com

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/martha


2/17/08
www.marybethwhalen.com

www.bookjunkieconfessions.blogspot.com


2/18/08
http://www.terragarden.blogspot.com

Revolutionary living

I just finished reading Shane Claiborne's book The Irresistible Revolution. Wow. I highly recommend it, although I have to warn you that the book will challenge you. It might make you mad, if you are a little conservative. But I'd love to hear what you think.

Claiborne is a controversial figure in Christian circles, mostly because he has decided to follow Jesus to the inner city, where he and a group of friends live among the poor, in fact are poor themselves, and to actually fight for justice. (http://www.thesimpleway.org/)
This book is partly a memoir, with stories of how Claiborne went to Calcutta to spend time working with Mother Teresa, and his trip to Iraq as a “peacemaker.” Claiborne has been arrested numerous times for protesting various forms of injustice, including local laws targeting the homeless that made it illegal to feed people, or to sleep outside.
But the book is more than a memoir, it is a challenge to the church and to every Christian to live their faith in a radical way. To live as if Jesus words about when we clothe the naked and feed the hungry, we’re doing it to him, were literally true.
What I'm trying to figure out is how to live out my faith when I live in a comfortable suburb. God's using Shane's book, as well as my reading of Justice in the Burbs by Will and Lisa Samson, to challenge me. My neighbors need God's love--so how do I really show that to them? I'm insulated from the poor, so Claiborne's words really made me think:
“We can admire and worship Jesus without doing what he did. We can applaud what he preached and stood for without caring about the same things. We can adore his cross without taking up ours. I had come to see that the great tragedy in the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor but that rich Christians do not know the poor.”

My monthly visits to a women's shelter have enabled me to get to know the poor a little, but I would say that it's only a start. I don't really know them.

This book will rock you, because Claiborne claims that while he’s a radical, he’s an ordinary radical, and following Jesus is a radical calling.
The point of the book is to call Christians to actually live out their faith. figuring out what that means for you will require prayer, but then action. He writes:
“If you ask most people what Christians believe, they can tell you, ‘Christians believe that Jesus is God’s son and that Jesus rose from the dead.’ But if you ask the average person how Christians live, they are struck silent. We have not shown the world another way of doing life. Christians pretty much live like everybody else; they just sprinkle a little Jesus in along the way. And doctrine is not very attractive, even if it’s true. Few people are interested in a religion that has nothing to say to the world and offers them only life after death, when what people are really wondering is whether there is life before death.”
I challenge each of you to read this book and take just one small step toward living your faith. And to offer suggestions to all of us about how to live justly no matter where we live.

Writing for magazines

As a freelance writer, I write for several publications, including Discipleship Journal and Today’s Christian Woman. Knowing this, reader Dianne had this question: ”How do you do research for ‘practical Christian living’ type articles? If you are not an ‘expert’ how do you put that ‘expert voice’ into your articles?”

This is a great question. A lot of people want to write. But in order to write, you need to have something to say. So often, the idea of being a writer is so appealing, until you have to actually gather your thoughts into something coherent, and then sit down and actually write, which is so much dang work.
Perhaps you do write, and you have lots of ideas. If you want to write for magazines, the first step is to read the magazines you’re like to write for. Study several back issues to determine the magazine’s style, format, topics. Figure out which magazines line up with the topics you want to write about. A magazine such as, oh, say, Practical Horseman, is not going to buy an article on resolving conflict in your marriage, no matter how well researched and written. An article that is perfect for People Magazine would likely be rejected by the Journal of the American Medical Association, no matter how intriguing or well-written. Research the magazines you are targeting.
An invaluable resource, if you are trying to write for the Christian market, is The Christian Writers Market Guide by Sally Stuart. Published annually, this book lists magazines, publishers, etc., and gives details ranging from whether they work with freelancers, how much they typically pay, what type of articles they are looking for, editors names, etc. There are tips on writing queries and articles. this year's edition also includes a CD-ROM which makes it easy to search.
Each magazine also will have its editorial guidelines, and an editorial calendar. (Often posted on their website or available by request). The guidelines give you rules for format and style and content. The calendar tells the topics or themes for each issue.
Magazine articles are not about you—they are about the reader. Your musings on a topic are not interesting, frankly, to anyone besides you (and perhaps readers of your blog, which is where that type of thing belongs—or in your own private journal—but that’s another topic). However, some articles begins with a story about you, and how you solved a problem in your own life. But they must move on to offer help to the reader to improve their life or solve a problem.

There are links on this blog to several other great sites that have more tips on writing. Or feel free to post a comment or questions by clicking on the word "comments" below.