Tell me your Sabbath story!

Do you practice Sabbath? I am working on a book on Sabbath—we are in the editing stage. This book, Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity, will be out later this year. One thing this book needs is the perspective of a few more real people.
So, if you have opinions or experience on Sabbath, I’d love to hear from you, as soon as possible. Just comment below. Here’s what I’d like to know:
When you were growing up, were there certain activities that were prohibited or encouraged on Sundays? Which denomination or tradition were you a part of?
Maybe you grew up in a tradition where Sunday meant going to church twice (morning and evening) and a day of prohibitions in between (no playing, no work, no movies, no shopping). What was required, what was prohibited?
Do you take a Sabbath? What do you do or not do on that day? How is your Sabbath similar or different from the Sundays of your childhood?
Are your weekends busy, or relaxed? Perhaps you rest on either Saturday or Sunday and just have never applied the label “Sabbath” to those days.
Does your church support your desire to have a day of rest? How about your family?

I really would like to hear your stories, and I’m hoping I can include a few in the book. But if you want to share, do it right away. I need to hear from you in the next couple of days, if possible.

And the winner is...

No, I'm not making predictions on the Oscars. I'm announcing that "stampedwithgrace" is the winner of our free book giveaway. You've won a copy of Trish Berg's wonderful book, Rattled!
So, stamped with grace, please contact me by clicking over to the contact form from my website (just click here) and give me an address where I can send the book.
And again, if you know of a first-time mom, this book would make a great mother's day gift.

Free book part 2

Okay, friends. The deadline for posting a comment about "Rattled" is midnight Thursday. I'll announce the winners on Friday.
Mother's Day is not far away, if you have friends who are expecting, this makes a great gift for a brand new mom!
Read the interview with Trish below, then post a comment or question, and we'll select a winner (or maybe two!) on Friday.

Get a free book!

Today you have a chance to win a free book! Read on to find out how.

I am excited to welcome Trish Berg, joining us today to talk about her new mom book, Rattled, Surviving Your Baby’s First Year without Losing Your Cool! Get to know Trish and learn about the book, then leave a comment to be entered into a drawing to receive one of two free copies of Rattled.
I've read this book, and it's very encouraging. It will give new parents practical tools for not only surviving but enjoying the first year of their baby's life. If you're a new mom, or know someone who is, you need this practical, wise book.

Trish is a national speaker for Hearts at Home, author of The Great American Supper Swap (which I reviewed on this blog last year) and Rattled. She has been published in Today’s Christian Woman, MOMSense, CBN.com, P31 WOMAN, and numerous regional and national publications.

Trish earned her MBA before leaving the workforce for motherhood, then earned her Doctorate in Diaper Changing in Ohio where she and her husband, Mike, keep busy raising their four children on their family cattle farm.

Trish, welcome back to Deep Breathing for the Soul. Thanks for taking time to be with us today.

Thanks for having me.

So why is it so easy for moms to get rattled during their baby’s first year?

Motherhood is simply draining and exhausting. Hands down the toughest job I have ever had.

But moms are not alone, and I want moms to know that God walks with them through these exhausting years.

What stresses moms out the most?

I think moms put a lot of pressure on themselves to do it all by themselves, and to do it all the right way. They need to simplify, let go of many details, and ask for help, from their husbands, and from neighbors and friends.

Rattled actually begins by looking at the months of pregnancy. How can moms use this time to prepare to survive baby’s first year?

Nine months is not nearly enough time to fully prepare for motherhood. I am not sure there is enough time to fully prepare.

I remember when our first child, Hannah, was born, I felt that my world had been turned upside down. Hannah did not like to sleep, and so we spent many nights walking the floor, bouncing her up and down, trying desperately to settle her down. My husband, Mike, and I took turns walking laps around the house, like the Indy 500 with a lot more bouncing.

I am not sure I could have prepared for that.

But during your pregnancy, you can prepare in other ways. Like arranging for help. Ask your mom or mother-in-law if they can spend one day with you each week during the first few months. Just knowing someone is coming in the morning to help with the baby can make the being up all night not seem so terrible.

You talk about surviving motherhood. How do you help moms do that?

In Rattled, I talk about a mom’s survival kit. If you were thrown out into the wilderness, you would need FOOD, SHELTER, FIRE and WATER to survive.

Well, moms have been thrown out into the wilderness of motherhood, and to survive, they will need:

Water from the word (2 Samuel 22:3a) –To be in God’s Word.

A fire like desire for prayer (1 Thessalonians 5:17) – Moms can pray their way through their day.

Nourishment body, mind and spirit (1 Corinthians 13:13) – Love on all levels nourishes us.

Shelter from life’s storms (Proverbs 17:17)-Friends to lean on, trust, and support us.

In Rattled, I spend some time talking about how moms can use that survival kit to get back to the joy of mothering.

You spent a lot of time listening to what other mothers had to say. Share with us your best advice for new moms.

I would tell moms to relax. No one does it right all the time. Let the laundry pile up. Leave the dishes in the sink, and just enjoy holding your baby today.

Don’t worry about doing “it” right, just enjoy the moments you have.

That is sound advice...

But what aboud dads? Give us a few tips into what dad is going through during the first year.

Dads are just as insecure as moms are about parenthood. Even more so in many cases.

Moms do much of the baby feeding, diaper changing, and baby care. So dads can sometimes feel left out, and incapable of caring for their own baby.

One thing moms can do is encourage dad to be involved. But in doing so, moms must let go of “their way” of doing things, and let dad discover his own way.

For example. When Hannah was a baby, every time Mike would change her diaper, I would criticize the way he changed it. I tried to teach him how to put his fingers under the leg elastic and make sure it wasn’t bunched up, preventing a future leak.

But every time I criticized him, he stepped back and became less involved. And you know what? Even when I did the diapers the “right way” they still sometimes leaked.

So I had to learn to let Mike change her diaper his own way. I let him put her to bed his way, bathe her his way, and be the dad God wanted him to be.

That can be difficult for moms who can tend to be slight control freaks when it comes to baby care.

But let me just encourage you that the help you will get from dad if you can let go of those details will bless you in more ways than you can imagine!

In Rattled you’re very open about the loss of your own pregnancy in 2002. How has that loss changed your outlook on motherhood?

I in the 2nd trimester of my fourth pregnancy when I went in for a regular check up. I was not having any problems at all, and went in alone.

My OB/GYN performed an ultrasound just to check for twins, and suddenly my world turned upside down when he could not find a heart beat.

I was completely devastated. Mike and I had two weeks of further testing before we had assurance that our baby had died. And through it all, I prayed for a miracle, my miracle, that my baby would be alive again.

But in the end, God’s miracle was not that my baby survived. God’s miracle was the reassurance that He used me as a vessel to bring a tiny soul to Heaven.

A year later, I lost another child to miscarriage.

Today, I have a greater sense of love and appreciation for my four children here on earth whom I hug with my arms, and a closer tie to Heaven where my two babies are waiting for me, whom I can only hug with my heart for now.

Today you’re the mom of 4 happy and healthy children. What do you see as the greatest blessing about being a mom?

I would say learning patience, but my husband would laugh out loud at that…since I am probably one of the most impatient people there is.

So I guess I would have to say enjoying the journey. I live Psalm 118:24 every day of my life.

“This is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.”

Life is messy. Things break. Kids get sick. But moms need to remember to enjoy the journey no matter where the journey leads.

Today at the Berg house, our washing machine is broken. Our mini van needs new tires. We are hanging onto Mike’s 1986 Jeep on a wing and a prayer, hoping it makes it another year or so.

There is mud on my kitchen floor, crumbs on my carpet, and I can honestly say that I love my life. Just as it is.

Now, I certainly have moments where I get stressed and discouraged, and can even lose my temper (just ask my kids), but I am also learning to enjoy each moment of every day as a gift from God.

And thorough it all, my simple hope and prayer is that I can be the mom that God wants me to be.

Where can readers learn more about you, Rattled, your other books, and your ministry to moms?

My website at www.TrishBerg.com offers tons of FREE resources, links and downloads for moms, as well as mor information on my books and ministry.

Moms can also purchase their own copy of Rattled by clicking here.

And I will be speaking at all 3 Hearts at Home Conferences in 2008, I would LOVE for you to join me there. The National conference is in March in Illinois, and in the fall there is a conference in Michigan and Minnesota. You can get more information and register at http://www.hearts-at-home.org/

Thanks, Trish, for joining us today. What a joy to meet you and learn more about your new mom book Rattled.

Thanks for having me. Blessings to you.

Okay, leave a comment and tell us if you'd like to be entered in the drawing for a free book. You can catch up with Trish all week long on her BLAST OUT BLOG TOUR by going to the following sites. There will be FREE book prizes, and great moms to connect with at each blog.

2/15/08
www.keriwyattkent.blogspot.com

http://ramblinroadstoeverywhere.blogspot.com

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/cappuccinosmom

www.mommycomelately.blogspot.com

http://www.cornhuskeracademy.blogspot.com

www.karenehman.com


2/16/08
http://zyphe.blogspot.com/

http://carasmusings.blogspot.com

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/martha


2/17/08
www.marybethwhalen.com

www.bookjunkieconfessions.blogspot.com


2/18/08
http://www.terragarden.blogspot.com

Snowed in!

Yet another snow day!

It was a good day to stay home, and enjoy the beauty of a foot of snow falling in less than 12 hours. I love being a working mom, but more than that, I love working from home so that I can make it to work by carrying my coffee cup up the stairs!

Here's a few photos to enjoy. My dog in the snow, my kids in the snow, our house buried in snow, well... you get the idea.

Getting oriented

Last night, I cooked dinner for my family. (I wrote about it on the Boomer Babes Blog today) But we didn’t get to eat together. As Scot and the kids came in the door, I was walking out, to ride over to the high school with my neighbors Laura and Jon.
It was parent orientation night. Our oldest kids (their son and my daughter) will be starting high school in the fall. They’ve already taken placement tests, registered for school, and now, we had to get oriented.
Which is a good way to put it, because I feel very disoriented. How did I suddenly become old enough to have a child in high school? How did my baby get so tall and wise so fast?
We happen to live in one of the top school districts in the state, and after hearing the presentations last night, I can see why. The focus is on college prep. Students who lag behind (defined as getting one F in any class, or D’s in two classes) are put into guided study halls to make sure they straighten up and fly right. There are courses are offered at general, college-prep or advanced levels, so that every student has a chance to be challenged, but also to succeed. We’ll be getting schedules with placement information in a few months. We had to turn in forms with elective choices for the kids—and guidance counselors offered us advice on getting the history requirement done as a freshman elective. Perusing the thick course catalog, looking at academic department flow charts, I felt like I was in college orientation, rather than high school.
I sat in the auditorium, between two moms I’ve known since our girls were in diapers. I looked around the room, seeing families from my neighborhood, moms from soccer teams Melanie’s played on, parents I recognized from church.
And as much as I’m overwhelmed by the idea of my little girl going to high school, I felt blessed. Not just because we can afford to live in a good school district (believe me, the taxes are not cheap!) but because we live in a neighborhood that is amazingly stable, and amazingly connected. The vast majority of the kids who were in Melanie’s kindergarten class will be going to high school with her in the fall. Five of those kids live within a block of us. And I know their families.
And that was the most orienting thing about orientation night—knowing that the parents who’ve been beside me at soccer games, driven my kids in carpools, suffered through PTA meetings and grade school field trips with me—those friends will also be here as we journey these next four years, as our teenagers grow and become more independent. My prayer is that we’ll all continue to help each other raise our kids—to watch out for them, to love them, to encourage each other as we face frustrations and challenges that are an inevitable part of parenting, especially parenting teenagers. And by caring for the kids, we’ll take care of each other, as we have for the last fourteen years.

Back to work

I admit it: I love winter. I took both of these photos in my backyard. And they don't do it justice--it really is beautiful.

For those of you who don't get my newsletter (or do get it but would like to comment on it) here's my musings for January from the Connecting with Keri newsletter. (If you like what you read and would like to subscribe, go to http://www.keriwyattkent.com/ and look for my newsletter info.) I'd love to hear your comments or feedback.

Now comes the hard part of winter, when the holidays are over. Here in the Midwest, it’s been cold and snowy for a month or two, but the season is just getting revved up. We’ve had ice storms, snow storms. We’re supposed to get a January thaw this weekend, although I know winter will return with a vengeance. It’s never really over around here until well into April.

I’ve enjoyed the holidays, and spending time with my family. I love just hanging out watching movies, reading Christmas books, visiting the city to look at the lights, or even shopping with my kids. I love the leisurely pace of our lives when they don’t have to get up for school and don’t have to be driven places on a schedule.

Yet there is part of me that longs to reclaim my computer and the quiet space of my home. I am ready for my darling children to go back to school, so I can work without Alvin and the Chipmunks singing “Bad Day” in the background (as it is right now. Again. Sigh.)

While the weather may be hard, this time of year presents a great opportunity to examine our lives, to see where, perhaps, we hope to go next; to align ourselves with God and His purpose.I finished a book manuscript in early December, and a few weeks later, my wonderful agent called with news of yet another book contract.

As a writer, I’m only employed for certain as long as I’ve got another project—this one will take me at least six months. To finish a manuscript and have another project right away is an amazing blessing. I’m grateful. Along with writing, I’ll travel to five states in the next four months for the other half of my job, speaking and teaching at retreats. My work provides meaning, purpose, joy and income. As much as I enjoyed a holiday break, I’m anxious to get back to work.

Perhaps this week, you too are getting back into your normal routine. Back to work, whether that work is caring for young children, adding value to your company, instructing others or engaging in creative endeavors. Whatever “normal routine” is for you, here’s something to consider: how do you go back to normal without falling into the same old rut?

There is no denying that being home with small children is hard work. But I’ve seen many women make it into an all-consuming career. The danger in that is that moms lose themselves, because they forget that parenting young children is a job for a season, not a lifetime. They don’t remember who they are, apart from the role of mom. It also backfires for the kids who can’t help but conclude that they are the center of the universe.

I really think that it’s important for moms to have something other than their children to occupy their thoughts, to give them meaning and purpose. Getting a job, volunteering for a cause that matters to you, taking a class (or maybe even teaching one) can help you hang onto your self during the parenting years.

I have several friends in various stages of the “empty nest” season. Some find themselves floundering—what are they now, if not a hands-on parent? Others are busy “re-inventing” themselves. Which is, I suppose, a healthy step, but one that makes me wonder: what if, somewhere along the way, they had kept a piece of themselves alive by nurturing their own God-given talents? We often find our purpose hidden in our passions. If we’ve spent some time seeking God’s purpose for our lives (beyond the important calling of caring for our family) perhaps we will find that an empty nest would not require complete re-invention, just a minor adjustment.

If you are a parent, do you have something to occupy your energy other than your kids? Something that fills you, invigorates you, challenges you? Something you think God is calling you to do, that fits with your purpose? Whether it is serving at church or on your school PTA, or even just a part-time job to give you a break from the kids and a little spending money to boot?

Whether you are a parent or not, January is a great time to think about how you spend your days, about your purpose and calling. It’s a great time to begin to explore some options. What work is God calling you to do in this season? As you “get back to normal,” take some time to consider whether you want to make some adjustments, set some goals, or perhaps make a fresh start altogether.

speaking podcast

Back in May, on Mother's Day weekend, I had the privilege of traveling to Utica, NY, where I was the guest speaker at all three weekend services of Mount Zion Ministries chuch.
What a great community of people who love God.
My talk was about what moms need. I won't give it away, but validation and a sense of purpose were among the things I talked about.
Mount Zion podcasts most of their sermons, so mine is on their site. here's the link.
http://www.podshow.com/shows/index.php?mode=ext_detail&episode_hash=5a064391d865a30dfd80b8853718784a


If you're considering me as a speaker and want to hear a sample, listen in for a bit.

Supper Swapping

Trish Berg, whose book The Great American Supper Swap I reviewed previously on this blog, will be talking about her book on TV today.
Catch her on The Harvest Show on Direct TV Channel 321 THIS TUESDAY August 7th at 9:00 am (replays 2 other times as well).

If you don’t have DirectTV, you can also watch online at www.harvest-tv.com if you wish.
Tune in if you can. Then visit Trish's website for some great tips on simplifying motherhood!

Authentic Parenting

Our culture is shifting so rapidly. Our values may not match up with those of the world around us. How do we parent our children in this ever-changing, postmodern culture?

Mary Demuth's newest book, Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture, addresses that very question. Writer Trish Berg is featuring an interview with Mary today on her Simplifying Motherhood Blog.

Another bonus: if you leave a comment on Trish's blog you have a chance of winning a copy of the book! Plus, check out the archives on her site--she really does have a ton of great ideas to help busy moms simplify their lives.

What I'd like for Mother's Day

The other night, I got so mad about the imbalance of the workload in our house, I walked out during dinner. I blogged today at www.boomerbabesrock.com/blog
about the whole "chore wars" situation:

My daughter was born just two months before Mother’s Day, thirteen years ago. That first year, I waited expectantly for my husband to acknowledge the day with a card or gift. Nope. “You’re not my mother,” he explained, genuinely puzzled.
After I explained that ten months of discomfort and 27 hours of labor pain obligated him to both card and lots of anti-oxidant rich dark chocolate, he’s done a much better job. He honestly didn’t know my expectations, but after I made those clear, he’s attempted to meet them. (read the whole article)

Post a comment--what do you want for Mother's Day? What about a cease-fire in the chore wars?

Simplifying Supper

Starting today, Fridays will feature interviews with other writers. Today, we’re part of author Trish Berg’s “Blog Tour.” She’s visiting Deep Breathing for the Soul to tell us how we can simplify our lives, save on our grocery bill and feel peaceful instead of panicky about getting dinner on the table.

Eating together is good for families, but getting a meal on the table can be a stressful chore.
Trish's new book, The Great American Supper Swap, offers practical help. It’s full of funny stories, recipes, practical tips, even prayers. You can get a copy on amazon, or if you would like an autographed copy, order from Trish’s website.
Trish is all about simplifying motherhood. She publishes a weekly newsletter on that topic, and she understands what it means to be busy! As a mom of four young kids, Trish used supper swapping to simplify life with little ones underfoot. But her ideas are easy to adapt to any life stage. If you have older children, you could have them make some of the meals. If you are single, do this with a group of friends!

So, here's our interview with Trish.

So tell us: what IS supper swapping?

Supper swapping is really a simple solution to that ever present “What’s for dinner,” question.

Supper swapping is women helping women by sharing the cooking responsibility for their families. You cook in bulk then swap meals during the workweek.

What does your supper swap group looks like?

Right now we have 3 families in our group, though I have swapped with 4 families in the past as well.

Our typical week looks like this:
Monday – Nann delivers supper to us at 5:30, hot and ready to eat.
Tuesday – Kelly delivers her meal at noon, prepared but not cooked. At supper time, I throw it in the oven and voila!
Wednesday – Our day off. We eat leftovers from Mon and Tues.
Thursday – My cooking day. I prepare my meal Wednesday evening, and deliver it Thursday around noon, prepared but not cooked.
Friday – Since we have had larger meals already, it’s easy on Fridays to make something simple like spaghetti, sandwiches or grilled burgers.

Each group can decide what constitutes a meal. We only swap one main dish and one side dish, and each family adds salad, bread or vegetables on their own to complete teach meal.

We usually plan 3 months at a time. (Print FREE meal calendars at http://www.trishberg.com/)

Why is the family meal so important to our kids?

Eating dinner together as a family opens communication, helps children to eat healthier, feel more connected to their parents, feel loved and cherished. These benefits have a lifelong impact on our children.

According to research from Columbia University, children who eat dinner with their family on a regular basis are 60% less likely to smoke cigarettes, 50% less likely to use drugs, and 66% less likely to drink alcohol. The family meal has a lifelong impact on our kids!

In your book, you also mention saving money through supper swapping.

Supper swapping can save families up to $4000 a year or more as they buy groceries more in bulk, shop with a plan wasting less food, and reduce their expenditures on fast food and pizza.

For example:

Ordering pizza or take out costs around $25 for a family of 6. If you are now ordering pizza or buying take out 3 times a week:

$25 * 3 = $75 a week
$75 * 4.5 weeks a month = $337.50 per month
$337.50 * 12 months = $4,050 per year

You could save over $4000 a year on that alone, and that’s not even counting the money you’ll save buying in bulk and shopping with a plan!

With so many other dinner options out there, why do you think supper swapping is becoming a hot trend?

Today’s families run at a fast pace unheard of 30 years ago. Usually, dinner is fast food, on the go grab bag, or relegated to pizza, take out or frozen quick fix meals. These meals are unhealthy and expensive.

Supper swapping cuts the time you spend cooking by up to 80%. For about 1-2 hours of meal preparation and 15-30 minutes or less of meal delivery one day a week, you get a week’s worth of hot, fresh, homemade dinners.

What do you hope families gain from The Great American Supper Swap?

Supper swapping can save families $4000 a year or more, reduce cooking by 80%, create a greater sense of community by adding deeper faith and friendships, and help families eat healthier food.

BUT MOST OF ALL – it gathers families around their dinner table together. That’s my mission. A return to the family meal.
For more information on The Great American Supper Swap or Trish Berg, go to http://www.trishberg.com/.